Infatuation Rules
Infatuation Rules
Photo: Ann H
Paul's overriding message to his Philippian brethren is to urge them to make a deliberate choice to adopt the same mindset Jesus had when He set aside the comfort of heaven to pursue the will of God, and received a great reward for His obedience.
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Read More »As he prepares to conclude the letter, Paul admonishes the Philippians to rejoice in the Lord. If we have the mindset of Christ (set forth in chapter 2), the result should be gratitude for whatever circumstances we encounter. Rejoicing in the face of challenges keeps us safe from losing the proper mindset. Paul warns about teachers who seek to lead the Philippians away from the truth of Christ’s finished work on the cross. These false teachers might have sought to add to Christ’s gospel, perhaps telling Gentiles to practice circumcision to become righteous. But Paul points out that he is the most Jewish of Jews: he has always kept the Law, he can trace his lineage and tribe, he was even a Pharisee—and yet he does not count religious credentials to be of real benefit. Only faith in and obedience to Jesus pleases God, and knowing God by faith is the only thing that gains us true and lasting benefit. Paul considers religious observance meaningless compared to the far better value of serving Jesus Christ through the obedience of faith. Following rituals in Jewish Law does not lead to living righteously, but walking by faith in Christ does. There is a future reward for believers who give up worldly concerns, who live out the servant mindset of Christ, obeying Him and dying to self. This immense benefit is worth it, even if it means rejection or loss—giving up everything of this world, even dying for the name of Christ, just as He died for the world. This goal of living out the servant mindset of Jesus is an ongoing process. It is something believers should seek to do for the rest of their lives, daily pressing forward toward God’s calling for us to have the attitude of Jesus, who lived out faithful obedience to God to the point of death, and was rewarded by God for His faithfulness. Paul tells the Philippians to imitate him, not other believers who are living contrary to Christ by serving their own immediate desires. They live lives of destroyed opportunity and shameful waste, prioritizing earthly gain. Such wastefulness causes Paul grief; he mourns that believers would squander their opportunity to serve God. Believers should look beyond the present and beyond this earth, toward Heaven and a New Earth. This is the place of our true citizenship. It is where we truly belong, our true country, where believers in Jesus will one day live. Jesus will remake our bodies, without a sinful flesh. It will be a world in which righteousness dwells. To rejoice provides a safeguard to maintaining a proper perspective of life.
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Read More »How to get someone to open up: Consistency is key. Practice active listening. Ask questions...but not too many. Demonstrate sharing and self-disclosure. Lean on nonverbals. Let them know you value your relationship and ask what they need to feel safe. Acknowledge your own desires.
"The main reason a person might have a hard time opening up is that they don't feel emotionally safe to do so," psychotherapist Megan Bruneau, M.A., tells mbg. This may be a reflection of how they feel about the relationship. They may not perceive it to be safe enough to share their inner world, or they may not yet be invested enough in the relationship to want to delve deeper with their partner. The tendency to be closed off can also stem from previous relational experiences or trauma. It's possible that this person could be "feeling shame around their experience and believe they should 'hide' that part of them," Bruneau explains. Some people from conservative or collectivistic cultures may be less inclined to discuss personal issues, Bruneau adds. Generally speaking, men across many cultures are not encouraged to talk about their emotions, so many men have learned to resist doing so from a young age. It's important to remember that people process things in their own way and at varying speeds, as well; they truly may not know how to answer your questions because they haven't asked the questions themselves. "Someone might have a hard time opening up if they haven't processed what they're resistant to open up about," she notes. "It's uncomfortable for them to 'go there,' so they avoid it."
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