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What does narcissistic gaslighting look like?

They may try to make you feel like you're overreacting or being too sensitive by saying things like, “You're being paranoid,” or “You're imagining things.” They might also try to control what you do and who you see by trying to isolate you from your friends and family.

makinwellness.com - Narcissist Gaslighting: What It Is, How To Recognize It & What To Do About It

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You might encounter being gaslighted by someone with NPD in different relationships. It can happen in work relationships, friendships, family, or even romantic relationships. In work relationships, the narcissist may try to make you feel like you’re not good enough for the job. They may also try to take credit for your work or ideas. In friendships, the narcissist may try to make you feel like you’re not really their friend. They may also try to control who you spend your time with or what you do. In romantic relationships, the narcissist may try to make you feel like you’re not really in love with them. They may also try to control your relationship by making all the decisions or by isolating you from your friends and family.

Example of narcissist gaslighting in the workplace:

Your boss might tell you that you’re not meeting their expectations, even though you know that you are. They might say that you’re not working hard enough or that you’re not being productive. They might try to make you feel like you’re not good enough for the job. An example of how this would play out in conversation is if your boss said to you, “I’m not sure if you’re cut out for this job. Maybe we should consider finding someone else.” If your boss is gaslighting you, you might start to doubt yourself and your abilities. You might feel like you’re not good enough for the job or that you’re not working hard enough.

Example of narcissist gaslighting in a friendship:

Your friend might start to isolate you from your other friends. They might say that they’re the only one who really understands you or try to control what you do and who you spend your time with. An example of how this would play out in a conversation is if you express an opinion that differs from your friend’s, and they immediately shut down the conversation or make you feel like you’re wrong.

Example of narcissist gaslighting in a romantic relationship:

Your partner might tell you that you’re not really in love with them. They might say that you don’t really care about them or that you’re just using them causing you to feel insecure in your relationship. They might try to make you feel like the relationship is not really worth your time and effort. An example of how this would play out in conversation is if they say something like, “I don’t think you really love me,” and when you respond with, “Of course I do; I wouldn’t be in this relationship if I didn’t,” they gaslight you by saying, “Well, then why don’t you ever show it?”

Example of narcissist gaslighting from a family member:

Your narcissist family member might try to convince you that you’re not really part of the family. They might say that you’re not really related to them, or that you don’t really care about them. They might try to make you feel like you’re not really a part of the family. An example of how this would play out in conversation is if they say, “You’re not really my son/daughter” or “I don’t really consider you part of the family.”

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How do you fix an empty relationship?

8 Ways To Save Your Relationship When It's Falling Apart Don't make any rash decisions. Get brutally honest. Seek therapy. Understand how you're contributing to the problem. Focus on healing yourself. Recognize your partner's pain. Spend some time reflecting on the good. Say ""thank you"" more often.

mindbodygreen.com - 8 Ways To Fix Your Relationship When It's Falling Apart

This is separate from just recognizing your own contribution to your relationship's troubled waters. This is about recognizing the inner work you have left to do on yourself. "Many people who leave are no happier than they were in the relationship," Paul says. "If you have been making your partner responsible for your feelings and you are blaming your partner for your unhappiness, then it likely isn't time to leave. You have your own inner work to do." Oftentimes, many of the problems that emerge in our lives are directly related to underlying mental or emotional struggles we ourselves have been dealing with all along, Paul says: "If you ignore your feelings, judge yourself, turn to various addictions to numb your feelings, or make your partner responsible for your feelings of worth and safety, then you are rejecting and abandoning yourself, and you have inner work to do to learn to love yourself. People tend to treat us the way we treat ourselves, so focus on how you are treating yourself rather than how your partner is treating you."

During this trying time, you need to love yourself now more than ever. What can you do to manifest more self-love right now?

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