Infatuation Rules
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What does loving your enemies look like?

Put simply, loving our enemies means seeing them as human beings. To love your enemy means to try and understand them and behave toward them as you would like them to do to you. You don't have to love them like you love your parents or children or best friend.

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Despite all of this information on what loving your enemy means, it’s still hard to implement in everyday life. Now that we’ve gone over what it means to love your enemies let’s look at some examples.

1. Show genuine respect

Show your enemies the genuine respect that every human being deserves. Learn to think of them with compassion and not contempt. This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t seek justice if someone does you or your loved ones harm. It simply means you can’t let bitterness and hatred grow in your heart. Responding to evil with more evil does not solve the problem. And Jesus knew this when he said, “Forgive them, Father.” When we show respect to our enemies, we allow ourselves to become more like the Holy Spirit. This separates us from those who have evil and hatred in their hearts. This also means we don’t necessarily have to stay in contact with people who have wronged us. The act of respect can often be expressed by simply saying, “Peace be with you,” and walking away.

2. Put yourself in their shoes

Putting yourself in your enemy's shoes is one of the most effective ways to show love for them. This is a worthwhile act of empathy that anyone can do in any situation. First, seek to understand their side and try hard to understand where they're coming from. Is there an underlying reason for their attitude and actions? If possible, take a look at their history and try to understand how they ended up the way they did. You may even be surprised at what you find out. A simple way to look at it is everybody’s got something. Whether it’s a loss of a job, a loved one, self-esteem, or their own health, there are plenty of reasons people do what they do. The next step is to accept where they are in their life. God has a different plan for everyone, and sometimes that means your path in life doesn’t match with someone else’s. The lessons for their life might not be the same as yours, and that’s okay.

3. Find common ground

There's something we have in common with everybody if we look closely enough. You may have similar interests or similar experiences while growing up. You could also have similar jobs, common friends or family members, or similar personality traits. One surefire way to find common ground is by acknowledging your differences. When you acknowledge that there are differences between you, you can open the door to commonalities. Talk about small things, like hobbies, or films you enjoy — even food you like to eat. If you come across a topic that you disagree on, try your best to listen without judgment. Surely you’d want the person to do the same when you voice your opinion.

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4. Forgiveness is always an option

Can you truly forgive an enemy for what they’ve done in your heart?

Jesus makes it clear many times in the Bible that we must model our forgiveness of others on God's forgiveness of our sins. In Matthew 6:14-15, the Bible says, "If you forgive others the wrongs they've done to you, your Father in heaven will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive the wrongs you've done." As stated previously, forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to invite the person to dine at your table. It simply means moving on from the past. What happened in the past cannot be changed. Either you can hate what happened in the past and not change a thing, or you can accept it and move forward.

5. Reach out to them first

It’s one thing to feel love for someone, even if you consider that person to be an enemy. But it’s quite another to express that love. There are many ways to express love, even for an enemy. One way to go about this would be to address them directly. Say nice things to them, have an open discussion about what’s happened or your feelings — give them a hug, do something nice for them, smile, make a joke. These are just a few ways to go about it. Typically, they’d expect hatred in response to their hatred, and when you respond to an enemy with kindness, it throws them off their rhythm. The adage, “hurt people, hurt people,” is not far off. Often our most profound need as humans is the love of God and to be appreciated by others. It’s human nature. When you provide someone with that basic need, you can often help thaw their cold heart.

6. Pray for your enemies

When in doubt, pray.

We can always pray for our enemies because praying is an act of mercy. Praying is loving, as our Heavenly Father loves. When all else fails, you can always look to God for guidance. There are many teachings from Jesus in Bible verses that touch on loving all of God’s children. Turn to these in moments where forgiveness seems too difficult to manage. In 1 Corinthians 13:4–5, the Bible says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it isn't proud. It does not dishonor others, it isn't self-seeking, it isn't easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."

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