What does lasting love feel like?

menshealth.com - What Does Love Feel Like? Here's How to Tell if You're in Deep.

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From the time we're children, we’re introduced to "perfect" portrayals of love. (Looking at you, fairy tales and Disney movies.) But as we grow older, we see love isn’t as easy an equation as pop culture led us to believe. The truth is, love can be messy, and it can leave you confused about how exactly to navigate this overwhelming emotion that’s overtaken your head and heart. But, for some, the biggest hurdle of all is not knowing what love feels like . Yes, feelings are subjective, and what love feels like to you may differ from person to person, but for many of us, love is a powerful emotion that can easily be mistaken for lust, companionship, or loneliness. But if you realize you are in love, it's among the best feelings in the world. "If you're in love with someone who not only loves you back, but also is kind, respectful, trustworthy, and helps you become a better person, there is nothing more beautiful than being in love," says relationship therapist Dr. Gary W. Lewandowski Jr.

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One thing that makes identifying love so challenging is that pop culture also glamorizes unhealthy relationships, such as Ross and Rachel from Friends , and can lead us to mistake certain toxic dynamics for love. "If the person you’re in love with treats you poorly, those same feelings of love are dangerous," Lewandowski adds.

What does real love feel like?

Lewandowski identified two main kinds of love, each with its own sensations: passionate love and companionate love. Again, feelings are subjective, but here's the general overview of what to expect from each. Passionate love feels like instant attraction with a bit of nervousness. It's the "feeling of butterflies in your stomach,"Lewandowski says. "It’s an intense feeling of joy, that can also feel a bit unsure because it feels so strong."

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Aside from passionate love, you have longer-term love—also known as companionate love—which brings “feelings of calm support and stability, a feeling of steady ease, confidence, and comfort.” Companionate love is typically found in long-lasting relationships where each partner intimately trusts each other, and brings each other comfort and stability. “For the benefit of long-term strong and healthy relationships, we focus too much on passionate love and not enough on companionate love,” he says. “That makes people believe they’re falling out of love when in reality their love is just shifting to become more companionate, which helps keep the relationship intact.” BTW, companionate love isn't just found in romantic relationships. The love you have for your friends may resemble companionate love because your close buddies bring you emotional intimacy and comfort. Both varieties of love bring out strong emotions, though passionate love is the strongest of all and also the most dangerous because it can cloud your judgement. Since it occurs early in emotional relationships, it can bring a lot of highs and lows, especially if the passionate love does not develop further into companionate love, Lewandowski says. “We often say in relationship science that passionate love is what gets you married, while companionate love is what keeps you married,” he says. “In fact, 'expert couples' married more than 15 years say the number-one secret to what keeps them together is 'my partner is my best friend,' a sure sign of companionate love." This content is imported from poll. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.

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Who is more loyal in relationship?

Women are more loyal in romantic relationships than men – Uche Elendu. It's a known fact that unfaithfulness is the bane of most marriages and relationships, however arguments abound as to who cheats more – the man or the woman?

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It’s a known fact that unfaithfulness is the bane of most marriages and relationships, however arguments abound as to who cheats more – the man or the woman? For Nollywood actress and mother of two, Uche Elendu, there’s no doubt in her mind that women tend to be more loyal in marriages and relationships than men, hinging her argument on the genes of both sexes. “Without sentiment, I say that a man has the most tendency to be unfaithful in a relationship”, she offered with conviction. “There’s a popular saying that ‘It’s in a man’s DNA to cheat’. Most times, without reason or with the slightest excuse, men take the plunge. It’s typical for most men to stop by at bars after work to have a drink with the ‘boys’. From there, most times, they end up on another woman’s bed before heading home to their wives. Women on the other hand, are naturally composed while in relationships. Their resistance to cheating is strong. This is not to say women do not cheat, but on the average and by virtue of their DNA, they are keepers. They are programmed to keep the home alive and united, they hold the home with prayers, they fix meals, care for the kids etc. Where in this tight schedule does she have the time to cheat? Any day, any time, women are more faithful,” she added. Uche Elendu joined Nollywood in 2001 and featured in her first movie ‘Fear of the Unknown’ after which she returned to finishing her tertiary education. The Abia State-born role interpreter has a bachelor’s degree in International Relations from Imo State University.

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