Infatuation Rules
Photo: Eman Genatilan
When a person gives you the silent treatment or “stonewall” on you, most of the time they are trying to let you know that something is wrong without telling you why. If you ask if anything is wrong, you are met with silence. There is no explanation, no response of any kind, only stony silence.
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Read More »More than likely he could be avoiding direct emotional expression and refusing to admit that he is angry or simply not able to talk about something he is going through. So you have to be willing confront the elephant in the room directly. Be sure that your approach to the issue does not place him in a defensive space. Statements like, “It’s seems that my making this statement agers you dear is that true?” or “ I value you and our time together speaking to one another. Is there truly something on your heart that you’d like me to pray with you about? I understand if you can’t tell me verbally, but remember email and text are both options. I love you and I’m here for you” The impact of this seemingly simple exposure can be quite profound. Speak Up and Do your best to Change the negative pattern. If your partner continues to give you the silent treatment time after time, help him work on redirecting the habit that has developed in his life. Wait until he begins speaking to you again, and then address the issue. A Lot of times the Silent Treatment has been ingrained in a person’s personality. They may have seen this in their parents and they simply don’t know that it is a problem nor do they feel that it needs addressing. Be committed to the relationship enough to speak up without being confrontational and angry yourself. Empathize with him and say that you understand how difficult I is for him to speak on things that may seem out of control, and assure him that you aren’t trying to make him speak about whatever it is he is dealing with. Tell him that there is more to him that you love that goes beyond whatever the issue is. RELATED: Relationship Friday: What Your Spouse Wants You To Know About Intimacy! [VIDEO]
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