Infatuation Rules
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What does healthy attraction look like?

Some emotional/mental signs of attraction are: Excitement or looking forward to talk to or seeing that person. The desire to learn more about the person. Thinking about someone more often they typically think about others.

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Answered

Attraction feels different for everyone. Just like every other emotion, attraction is experienced differently person-to-person. Some people experience attraction in a very physical sense where they will have physical symptoms and signs that indicate whether they are experiencing attraction to another person. Others feel attraction in their mind and within their emotional state. Still others might experience both at the same time and have multiple signs indicating that they are attracted to somebody.

Some physical symptoms or signs of attraction are:

Someone’s heart racing

Dilated pupils

Feeling as though one is flushed or blushing

Dry mouth

Sweaty palms

Certain “gut” feelings (nausea, loss of appetite, “butterflies in the stomach”)

Sexual arousal

Some emotional/mental signs of attraction are:

Excitement or looking forward to talk to or seeing that person

The desire to learn more about the person

Thinking about someone more often they typically think about others

Feeling remarkably comfortable with that person (even if it is only short time that they have known them) An internal “ease” that comes with being around or talking with that person. One thing to remember is that there is such a thing as different types of attraction. Among the most common are physical/sexual attraction (a desire for physical or sexual contact with the person), emotional attraction (a desire for an emotional connection with a person), romantic attraction (a desire for romantic contact/connection with a person), and aesthetic attraction (attraction based on a person’s outward appearance that can be sexual or non-sexual). Sometimes these attractions all happen at the same time and sometimes they are mutually exclusive. It is possible for someone to experience physical attraction but maybe not romantic attraction towards a person. Or, someone even aesthetically finds someone attractive but has no sexual desire or attractions towards them. Likewise, a person might experience emotional attraction towards somebody indicating that they want to have a friendship, but they do not experience any sort of physical or romantic attraction towards them. It is a perfectly normal aspect of life to experience different types of attraction and even having different kinds of attraction towards different people. Attraction is not or does not have to be inherently sexual in nature. Sometimes, it’s about knowing that there is an underlying desire to know a person or to be close with them even if that does not mean within the context of a sexual or romantic relationship.

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Do men care more about your face or body?

Evolutionary psychology theory holds that men value current fertility (body) more in a short-term mate and reproductive value (face) in the long term. But there may be more to a pretty face. “The face is a signifier of emotion and character,” said Roy F.

Participants then had the option of looking at either the head or body, but not both. Later, they were asked to rate how much more important the face or body was, depending on which they elected to reveal. Women treated bodies and faces alike, independent of short- or long-term interest. Men, however, made a distinction between face and figure, depending on their intent. Among male participants, 25 percent of those who were told to consider the person as a long-term partner chose to see the figure, compared with 51 percent who chose the body if they were looking at a potential short-term partner. Here is how the authors explain it: a woman’s face and body signify different things, they say. To put it in clinical terms, facial features are cues of youth and health, and features like large eyes are feminine because “they are sensitive to the rise in estrogen levels that accompanies puberty and persists through a woman’s reproductive lifespan.” This would indicate long-term reproductive value; that is, the time a woman has left to reproduce. The body, meanwhile, signifies fertility in the here and now. A young and comely pregnant woman, for example, would have a high reproductive value but zero current fertility potential — she is clearly already taken. Evolutionary psychology theory holds that men value current fertility (body) more in a short-term mate and reproductive value (face) in the long term. But there may be more to a pretty face. “The face is a signifier of emotion and character,” said Roy F. Baumeister, the author of a new book, “Is There Anything Good About Men?” (Oxford University Press). “Men who want a long-term relationship aren’t just interested in reproductive value; they’re also looking for emotional intimacy.”

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