Infatuation Rules
Photo: cottonbro studio
“Dating” means you're going on dates. You are actively getting out there and meeting people and spending time with them. “Dating someone” means you're seeing somebody specific, with purpose and on a regular basis.
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Read More »Basically, dating comes down to intention. If you intend to get to know someone because you’re interested in seeing if there’s a future there, even if it’s not a down-the-aisle, Grandmother’s-wedding-band future, you’re dating them. Here’s what “dating” isn’t—it’s not exclusivity. Not guaranteed exclusivity, anyway; dating meaning exclusive is rare. Even as things grow more serious, exclusivity is something that always requires a frank conversation about what each party wants, and without that conversation, it’s not safe to assume the two of you are on the same page. Regardless of how much time has passed, how often you see each other, etc., two people being committed to each other, always requires that awful, painful, awkward conversation. Always. So let’s recap—Just because you’re “dating” doesn’t necessarily mean you’re “dating someone,” however, if you are “dating someone,” you’re absolutely “dating.” All squares are rectangles, but not all rectangles are squares. I think that’s an accurate analogy… The difference between “dating” and “hooking up” or “having fun” or “hanging out” is intention. If you want to find someone to have a relationship with, you’re dating. It’s not to say that something not-so-serious cannot turn into dating, but you most definitely can’t assume it will. You also can’t assume that dating will turn into an exclusive and committed relationship. If you’re foggy about what you’re doing with someone, it’s always best to have a terribly awkward chat with them. I give you permission to have a glass or three of wine first if you’d like; it tends to make things easier. But just like most issues in the world of relationships, when it comes to clearing the air around the dreaded dating meaning, communication is almost always guaranteed to help any confusion.
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