What does a toxic argument look like?

End up using bad argument behavior, such as screaming, blaming, name-calling, door slamming, kicking one partner out of the house, or locking doors.

psychologytoday.com - Are These Signs of Toxic Arguing in Your Relationship?

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Often end up arguing about something other than the original problem or issue.

Can’t remember why your argument started.

Label the other negatively such as, “You’re a couch potato/lazy/selfish/downer/impossible/nag.”

Feel like you can’t make the other understand how you feel.

Say things you later regret.

Apologize for saying something mean to your partner even though you still believe it’s true.

Use words like, “you always/never/should.”

Bring up past issues or arguments—even ones that you thought were resolved—in a hostile way again during current arguments. Have declared certain topics “off limits” during arguments but you have a hard time sticking to it.

Exaggerate or accuse the other of exaggerating the situation or problem.

End up using bad argument behavior, such as screaming, blaming, name-calling, door slamming, kicking one partner out of the house, or locking doors. Feel like your partner “pushes your buttons” or says mean things on purpose to get a reaction out of you.

Are unable to simply discuss problems—it always turns into an argument.

For parenting help please check out my book, 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child, recommended this year by the Wall Street Journal. Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein is a psychologist with over 23 years of experience specializing in child, adolescent, couples, and family therapy. He holds a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from the State University of New York at Albany and completed his post-doctoral internship at the University of Pennsylvania Counseling Center. He has appeared on the Today Show, Court TV as an expert adviser, CBS Eyewitness News Philadelphia, 10! Philadelphia—NBC, and public radio. Dr. Bernstein has authored four books, including the highly popular 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child (Perseus Books, 2006), 10 Days to a Less Distracted Child (Perseus, 2007), Why Can't You Read My Mind?, and Liking the Child You Love, Perseus, 2009).

References:

Getting Unstuck: The Toxic Relatiohship. Mark Banschick, M.D,http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-intelligent-divorce/201309/getti...

The Five Love Languages. Gary Chapman

Why Can't You Read My Mind: Overcoming the 9 toxic thoughts that get in the way of a loving relationship. Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D.

Why Marriages Succeed or Fail? John Gottman

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What guys do when they want to break up?

10 Signs Your Partner Probably Wants To Break Up With You They avoid you. Tumblr. ... They've stopped talking about a future with you. ... They've stopped making an effort. ... They put their friends first. ... You're no longer intimate with each other. ... They're being secretive. ... They threaten to leave you. ... They pick fights with you. More items... •

self.com - 10 Signs Your Partner Probably Wants To Break Up With You

If these signs from YourTango seem familiar, your partner may be ready to move on. When your relationship gets stale, it can be tricky to know if you're at risk of breaking up. While every relationship goes through ups and downs, certain signs can show you if your guy or gal is ready to hit the road. If you see these signs in your relationship, don't panic. Instead, proceed with caution, focus on reconnecting, and work on the areas of your relationship that need a little bit of extra love and care. After all, ignorance isn't always bliss.

1. They avoid you.

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Breakups are tough, and some people find that actually telling their partner they want to call it quits is too hard. Instead, they choose the path of avoidance rather than being direct and honest about their feelings. If your partner is suddenly canceling all your plans or changing the conversation whenever a serious topic comes up, they may want out but not know how to tell you. If you notice this happening, it's time to bring this behavior to their attention.

2. They've stopped talking about a future with you.

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