Infatuation Rules
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What counts as cheating in an online relationship?

Cheating Is Cheating, Even If It's Online Online infidelity is a kind of emotional affair in which the people involved develop a sexually intimate relationship without actually meeting—what's known as cybersex. In fact, they may never even see each other's faces or hear each other's voices.

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In the past, infidelity was a matter of clandestine meetings, lies about "business trips," awkward excuses about the scent of perfume on a dress shirt. Now it's possible to become involved with someone other than your spouse or partner by hooking up online. But while it may seem innocent enough—after all, you aren't in physical contact—online cheating really is just that: cheating. If you've been grappling with this question for any reason (you've been "seeing" someone over the internet or you're looking for a sexual outlet and are considering surfing around online for it), here's why you should think twice before you log on if you're married or in a committed relationship.

Cheating Is Cheating, Even If It's Online

Online infidelity is a kind of emotional affair in which the people involved develop a sexually intimate relationship without actually meeting—what's known as cybersex. In fact, they may never even see each other's faces or hear each other's voices. Without actual physical contact, then, intimacy via the internet may not seem like a real affair. However, an online affair is very much like a physical fling, one that can do lasting harm to a relationship or even an entire family. It can distract the unfaithful partner's attention from his or her real-life partner and children, robbing them of important time and attention and causing them to feel neglected and taken for granted. And like traditional affairs, those that take place over the internet inevitably involve secrecy and lies that have the potential to destroy the trust that's necessary to hold a relationship together. Even if the person being cheated on never discovers what's been going on behind his or her back, the bond of trust is broken when a spouse or partner is unfaithful. People having affairs also tend to get angry with their real-life partners, which can lead to further hurt.

The Danger of Going Too Far

Once two people begin having cybersex, they can quickly and easily get carried away. Some people even become addicted to online sex, which adds another dimension of difficulty to the situation. For a person addicted to cybersex, time spent in front of a computer or screen will likely take up more and more free time, leaving less time and attention for spouse or partner, and family. Another danger of cybersex is that the two people engaging in the affair decide to meet in person. At that point, of course, online infidelity can become physical infidelity, which takes cheating to a different level. It's important to keep in mind that online infidelity, like real-life infidelity, is often a sign that there are problems in a relationship and so ending an online affair may not be enough to put the incident to rest or prevent it from happening again. So rather than turning to the internet to try to find happiness or whatever you feel might be missing from your current relationship, talk to your spouse or partner. Consider couples counseling or therapy for yourself if you can't seem to stop engaging in sexually compulsive behavior. You will save your loved ones from being deeply hurt and yourself from living with guilt or shame.

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What causes strong chemistry between two people?

Romantic chemistry focuses on characteristics present between two people, including mutual interests, similarity, and intimacy. According to Kelly Campbell, P.h.D., the more present these characteristics are, the more likely two individuals will perceive chemistry between each other.

There are few better feelings in the world than experiencing that newfound chemistry with another person. In the early stages of a relationship, even the smallest touch or briefest eye contact is enough to send tingling shockwaves all over your body. This feeling is what we usually call chemistry between people, or "the spark"—a twinkle in the eye, a skipped heartbeat, or flushed cheeks that indicate two people are truly connecting. But is there a scientific explanation for what we assume to be the chemistry between two people?

What Is Romantic Chemistry? Romantic chemistry focuses on characteristics present between two people, including mutual interests, similarity, and intimacy. According to Kelly Campbell, P.h.D., the more present these characteristics are, the more likely two individuals will perceive chemistry between each other. According to Kelly Campbell, Ph.D, there certainly is. Chemistry has also been used to describe lust, but for the purpose of this article, chemistry in this context refers to mutual romantic interest and compatibility—two potentially very important components of a lasting relationship. "Chemistry happens when various factors converge at the right time," Campbell explains. "For example, chemistry is more likely when people are both open to the experience. It won’t be as 'magnetic' or easy to foster a connection if they are in a rush, angry, or already involved in a great romantic relationship—people who are happily committed tend not to pay attention to potential alternative partners (a premise known as 'derogation of alternatives')." Meet the Expert Kelly Campbell, Ph.D, is a professor of psychology at California State University, San Bernardino. Campbell's research focuses on couple relationships and friendships. Read on to learn more about the chemistry between people and the seven characteristics that may increase that romantic chemistry.

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