What causes someone to obsess over you?

Attachment disorders A person's ability to form healthy attachments with others begins early in childhood. People whose parents or caregivers were unstable or abusive may develop abnormal patterns of attachment. This may cause them to become obsessive, controlling, or fearful in their relationships.

medicalnewstoday.com - Obsessive love disorder: Symptoms and treatment - Medical News Today

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Love can be a euphoric feeling, but many people have felt the pain of a broken heart and the intensity of infatuation. Obsessive love takes these emotions further, causing a person to fixate on their loved one as though they are an object or possession. Health professionals do not widely recognize obsessive love, or “obsessive love disorder,” as a mental health condition. Indeed, it is not currently listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th edition (DSM-5). However, obsessive love can be a sign of other mental health challenges and conditions. If the person experiencing feelings of obsessive love does not receive treatment for the overall symptoms, they may have difficulty regulating these feelings. In very extreme cases, this may even trigger a person to commit acts of violence or abuse. This article discusses obsessive love, the causes and symptoms behind it, and some possible treatment options. A note about sex and gender Sex and gender exist on spectrums. This article will use the terms, “male,” “female,” or both to refer to sex assigned at birth. Click here to learn more. Symptoms The symptoms of obsessive love vary depending on the reason for the obsession. For instance, a person with a delusional disorder may experience altered reality or demonstrate unusual behavior, while a person with depression may have low self-esteem or experience suicidal thoughts. In general, some signs that love is obsessive may include: an intense preoccupation with the relationship that is disproportionate to how long people have known each other

immediately falling “in love” with new partners, or even with strangers

extreme attempts to control the other person

threatening the other person if they attempt to leave

refusing to listen to the other person’s feelings or accept any boundaries they attempt to create demanding specific unreasonable behaviors from the other person Other symptoms may include different types of jealous behavior. Obsessional jealousy People with obsessional jealousy have excessive jealous thoughts alongside compulsive behaviors. People with obsessional jealousy may recognize their thoughts are irrational. Symptoms of obsessional jealousy are more extreme than the normal emotion of jealousy, and include: intrusive and excessive jealous thoughts, which may be difficult to stop thinking about

limiting a partner’s freedom

checking on a partner’s behavior Delusional jealousy According to a 2018 article, delusional jealousy occurs when a person has absolute certainty that a partner is being sexually unfaithful to them, but having no evidence for this belief. Delusional jealousy is a type of psychotic disorder, which people may also refer to as Othello syndrome. Symptoms of delusional jealousy include: false but certain belief that a partner is being unfaithful

persistent delusions about a partner’s infidelity

preoccupation with a partner’s infidelity

paranoid and irrational thoughts and emotions

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unacceptable or extreme behavior

Diagnosis A mental health professional may decide that a person’s relationship is obsessive based on the symptoms they exhibit and whether or not they negatively affect the person’s life. There are no specific diagnostic criteria for obsessive love. Obsessive love can be a sign of another mental health condition, so a healthcare professional may ask questions about a person’s mental health history. They may also recommend psychological or medical testing to rule out other causes, especially if the person demonstrates delusional behavior. If a healthcare professional suspects a condition such as ROCD, they may use the obsessive distrust inventory (ODIS), which is a scale assessing how the person perceives their partner. Treatment Treatment for obsessive love focuses on identifying the cause of the obsessive thoughts and feelings, then treating that cause. A person with a personality disorder may need psychotherapy and medications to manage any symptoms, such as anxiety or mood swings. A treatment plan may involve learning more about the condition, learning healthy coping strategies to process emotions, and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Therapy may help people to manage obsessive feelings and develop healthier relationships. A therapist may help with processing trauma, managing underlying conditions, and establishing healthier relationship norms. In the early stages of treatment, individual therapy is best, especially if the relationship is abusive. If each person in the relationship is able to establish better boundaries individually, couples counseling may then help them work together and move past the obsessive love. There is no clear treatment plan or timeline for recovering from obsessive love. It is an individual experience that depends on many factors, from the level of obsessive love to the underlying condition that could be causing it. When to see a doctor If people with obsessive love are aware of their behavior, seeing a doctor is important in finding out the underlying cause and starting a treatment plan. A person with obsessive love may not see their behavior as problematic. They might instead view the object of their affection as insufficiently loving or loyal, believing the other person to be the problem. This can mean that a person may find it difficult to seek treatment. People who struggle to let go of relationships or who feel very insecure in a relationship may wish to consider the possibility that their love is obsessive and try to seek treatment. If people are on the receiving end of obsessive love, they can contact a healthcare professional for advice. People can also contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline for help or call 911 if they are in immediate danger.

medicalnewstoday.com - Obsessive love disorder: Symptoms and treatment - Medical News Today

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