Infatuation Rules
Photo by RODNAE Productions Pexels Logo Photo: RODNAE Productions

What causes someone to avoid confrontation?

Conflict avoidance is a type of people-pleasing behavior that typically arises from a deep rooted fear of upsetting others. Many of these tendencies can be traced back to growing up in an environment that was dismissive or hypercritical.

What color is usually positive?
What color is usually positive?

red When wiring for DC power, there are typically going to be either two or three wires. The coloring is as follows: The positive current must be...

Read More »
How often do exes get back together?
How often do exes get back together?

According to much research, about 40 to 50 percent of couples get back together after a breakup. While this is positive, many factors determine the...

Read More »

What it is Imagine this scenario: You’ve been working hard on a presentation for several weeks, spending extra hours trying to get everything just right. You’ve overseen every detail and even woke up early to prepare for today’s meeting with your boss. Now imagine a co-worker interjecting and taking all the credit for your work. But instead of being in touch with your anger and (rightly) speaking up, you choose to silently withdraw. Being conflict avoidant means exactly that: being afraid of possible disagreements at all costs. Aside from our work life, avoiding conflict can manifest in our romantic relationships, friendships, and even family dynamics. While getting out of these damaging patterns is tricky, there are ways to move forward in the face of our fears and express our emotions authentically. What it looks like Conflict avoidance is a type of people-pleasing behavior that typically arises from a deep rooted fear of upsetting others. Many of these tendencies can be traced back to growing up in an environment that was dismissive or hypercritical. People who respond to conflict this way often expect negative outcomes and find it difficult to trust the other person’s reaction. In other words, asserting your opinion can seem scary or unnerving. You prefer to be seen as the “nice person” at work, for example, or may shy away from open, healthy conflict so as not to rock the boat. In a relationship, this can look like going silent on a partner, changing the subject, or enduring uncomfortable situations instead of expressing issues openly. Here are more examples of how this may manifest: stonewalling, or denying an issue exists by ignoring it

fear of disappointing others

deliberately sidestepping conversations

silently resenting unresolved issues

Why it’s not helpful When you avoid the slightest disagreement, you’re compromising your true feelings and storing up frustration that can end up negatively affecting your health. One 2013 study found that bottling up our emotions can increase the risk of premature death, including death from cancer. Laughing nervously or plastering a fake smile on our face instead of acknowledging distressing emotions can also lead to feelings of loneliness and depression. Being conflict avoidant also impacts our relationships because we’re cutting off all honest communication with the other person. While avoidance sometimes seems like the best way to deal with conflict, in the long run it ends up harming our intimacy. Strategies for overcoming it Recognize any of the above signs in yourself? The below tips can help you deal with an issue more assertively. Reframe confrontation Disagreeing with someone doesn’t necessarily mean “fighting.” Keep in mind that it’s not about blaming the other person or proving who’s right and wrong in a given situation. Conflict resolution is about standing up for yourself and communicating when you feel angry or frustrated. It’s also about ensuring that problematic issues (like the one with your co-worker) are dealt with so they don’t happen again in the future. Make a plan Having a plan set before confronting someone can help you feel more prepared in the moment. Rehearse concise points you’d like to get across to a boss or colleague so you’ll feel confident when addressing them. Clearly define what you’d like to resolve before the confrontation and write down canned, factual responses to use when needed (“I worked late for the past 2 weeks while my co-worker didn’t turn in their share of the research”). Use your senses to quickly relieve stress Stay centered in a distressing situation by focusing and drawing upon your sensory toolbox: sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell. This will allow you to remain relaxed and in control of yourself during tense moments. If you’re a visual person, for example, you can relieve stress by closing your eyes and imagining soothing images. Similarly, if you’re more comforted by smells, you can keep an essential oil on hand to take a quick whiff of when you’re feeling anxious. Recognize and manage your feelings Being aware of how your emotions impact you can help you gain a greater understanding of yourself and others. Before confronting someone, try examining and questioning your feelings. Instead of trying to sedate emotions like anger, sadness, or fear, try looking at them through the lens of self-compassion, and allowing yourself to see your negative thoughts with empathy. You can try practicing the following affirmations: “It’s OK to feel however I’m feeling at this moment — my emotions are valid.”

What should you not do during a hookup?
What should you not do during a hookup?

11 Common Mistakes People Make When Hooking Up Not Stopping To Talk About Your Likes & Dislikes. ... Never Speaking Up During Sex. ... Going In...

Read More »
What the first thing a man notices about a woman?
What the first thing a man notices about a woman?

This is a little bit refreshing: A study of 1,000 men found that 70% look at a woman's eyes when judging a first impression. This was followed...

Read More »

“I am worthy and deserving of being heard.”

How do I get my ex back without begging?
How do I get my ex back without begging?

5 Ways to Get Your Ex Back—Without Looking Desperate Start Seeing Another Woman. Make Yourself Interesting Again. Get in the Best Shape of Your...

Read More »
How to let a guy know you like him without coming on too strong?
How to let a guy know you like him without coming on too strong?

4 Ways To Let Someone Know You Like Them Without Coming On Too Strong Speak well of them. Let the person know that you have good thoughts about...

Read More »

“All of my experiences (good and bad) give me the space to grow.” Resolve issues in real-time Rather than endlessly ruminate and allow conflicts to fester in your head, try taking a more assertive approach. You can start by stating the issue non-emotionally and using fact-based sentences like, “It appears I worked very hard on this project and yet my name was left out of the presentation.” Avoid being accusatory or defensive when approaching the co-worker who took all the credit for your work. Instead, say “I’d appreciate it if, going forward, we use both our names on the project and include each other on all emails to our supervisor.” When to get help While it can be tempting to bottle up feelings like anger and frustration by not rocking the boat, conflict-avoiding tendencies can take a toll on your mental health. Leaving conflicts unresolved leads to pent-up frustration and a greater sense of loneliness that can build up over time. Speaking to a qualified therapist can help you learn how to better manage your negative emotions. You can work together on resolving conflicts more productively.

What occupation has the highest divorce rate?
What occupation has the highest divorce rate?

Key findings The type of job with the highest divorce rate is military work. ... Following military workers, those who have a job in health care...

Read More »
How do you know your love is fading?
How do you know your love is fading?

Check out these warning signs so you can start yourself on the path to a solution sooner rather than later. You Don't Talk Anymore. ... You Don't...

Read More »
How does a good man treat a woman?
How does a good man treat a woman?

A Dummies Guide For Men Who Don't Know How To Treat A Woman Treat her like a human being “with a touch of extra” ... Be thoughtful and sensitive....

Read More »
How can you tell a man is falling in love with you?
How can you tell a man is falling in love with you?

Signs He's Falling in Love With You He loves to spend quality time with you. ... He does everything to keep you happy. ... He prioritizes your...

Read More »