Infatuation Rules
Photo by RODNAE Productions Pexels Logo Photo: RODNAE Productions

What brings on horniness?

biological factors, such as testosterone and estrogen levels. psychological factors, such as stress levels. social factors, such as intimate relationships.

How do you know he has not moved on?
How do you know he has not moved on?

Is he ready to commit? 9 signs he's not over his ex Her name comes up…a lot. ... He still seems angry with her. ... He's still mourning the...

Read More »
Why am I constantly irritated at my partner?
Why am I constantly irritated at my partner?

If you're constantly irritated with your partner, it could be a sign that this just isn't the right relationship for you. That being said, I think...

Read More »

Hornier than usual? How fun! Yes, that says FUN not “concerning.” “It’s completely normal for your libido to fluctuate and for there to be points of time — days, weeks, months, years — where your sex drive is higher than usual,” says Dr. Jill McDevitt, resident sexologist at CalExotics. Usually, a higher sex drive is absolutely nothing to be worried about. As Dr. Jess O’Reilly, PhD, host of the @SexWithDrJess Podcast says, “Desiring sex more often does not suddenly make you a pervert.” It makes you human. Is there a “normal” libido level? There is no metric for measuring libido, says Searah Deysach, longtime sex educator and owner of Early to Bed. So there’s really no universal baseline for what counts as a normal, she says. Now, can you have your own personal “normal”? Yes, says Deysach. “But even that’s a range, because there are so many actors that can cause your personal libido norm to shift a little — or a lot — to the left or right.” These include: age

relationship status or interactions

sleep, diet, and exercise

schedule

mood and mental health

hormones, medication, and physical health

Then how do you know if it’s actually “high”? You can’t — not really. Do you feel friskier than you did this time last year? Have you been craving sex more than your personal normal? Is your sex drive higher than your partner’s? Then you might say your libido is high. But there’s no diagnostic test or doctor-approved online quiz you can take to find out if your libido is high. What can cause an unexpected increase? Feeling sexually insatiable? There are a few common culprits for the climb. Your stress levels are lower This is a big one. “If you’re going through a time of low-stress, your libido will likely increase,” says McDevitt. She says that’s why “vacation sex” is such a Thing. Your mental health is better than ever According to clinical sex counselor Eric M. Garrison, author of “Mastering Multiple Position Sex,” being raised in a sexually-repressive household or religion can train folks to “turn off” — or at the very least disconnect from — their libido. For these folks, going to a sex therapist or mental health professional to work through this shame can result in reconnecting with their sexual urges. He says this can make folks feel like their sex drive is higher. You’re having good sex Thanks to your hormones, the more you have (good) sex, the more your body craves it. So if you recently started sleeping with someone (or a new sex toy!) that rocks your world, it’s natural to want sex more often, says Dr. McDevitt. You’ve been exercising more “Some people find that they want sex more often when they exercise regularly,” says Dr. O’Reilly. This could be credited to a number of things: boosted confidence

reduced stress

How many hugs does a male need?
How many hugs does a male need?

How many hugs do we need? Family therapist Virginia Satir once said, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance....

Read More »
Who is more attractive light skin or dark skin?
Who is more attractive light skin or dark skin?

A new study by Missouri School of Journalism researcher Cynthia Frisby found that people perceive a light brown skin tone to be more physically...

Read More »

improved sleep You swapped or stopped certain meds Certain medications like antidepressants , SSRIs, birth control , and beta-blockers (to name a few) are known to squash libido. Finally adjusting to these medications can also result in a higher libido, says Garrison. And so can going off these medications. Friendly reminder: *don’t* go off any medication without talking to your healthcare provider first! You’re at your “horny” spot in your menstrual cycle Most menstruating humans have a “horny” part of their cycle — usually right before, during, or right after ovulation. So if you or your partner is ravenous a few days a month, it’s the hormones talking! When a high libido is *actually* a problem “Your high libido is a problem if either you think it’s a problem, or if your high libido is leading you to act in a way that interferes with the rest of your life,” says Garrison. If, for instance, you’re skipping work, cheating on your partner, blowing your savings on sex gadgets to meet your sexual impulses, or otherwise engaging in ~risky behavior~ as a result of your libido, that’s a problem. In these instances, working with a mental healthcare professional is a M-U-S-T. They’ll help you come up with a game plan to regain control. What else can you do if you’re bothered by this change? A few things! Turn inward Dr. McDevitt recommends doing some self-reflection: Is your libido actually interfering with your life? Are you actually bothered by this libido spike? Or is your partner or sex-negative upbringing making you feel gross, bad, or guilty about these urges? Practice mindfulness “If your high desire for sex is related to the fact that you find sex stress-relieving, finding other ways to relieve this stress such as breathing, visualization, and non-sexual touch exercises might help,” says Dr. O’Reilly. Don’t pressure your partner… but talk to them If your libido has increased and your partner’s hasn’t, it’s possible that either A) your partner feels guilty that they aren’t as interested in having sex or B) you’re feeling resentful that your partner doesn’t want to smash. That’s why Garrison recommends talking to your partner about it. You might say: “I’ve been really in the mood to connect with you sexually recently. Would you be open to letting me massage your back and seeing where it goes?” “Recently, I’ve been so horny for you. Would you be open to scheduling a date night sometime soon?” “I know that I’ve been suggesting we have sex more than usual, lately. I’d love to talk about ways we connect physically and intimately that make us both feel good.” What to expect at every age Your sex drive isn’t strictly tied to a timeline. But there are some natural health and hormonal shifts that typically occur within each decade that can affect your libido. Adolescence “Generally speaking, the late teens is when most people’s libidos are the highest,” says Dr. McDevitt. Largely, due to hormones. But (!), Garrison says, “That doesn’t mean that’s when people are having their most fulfilling, pleasurable sex lives.” For cisgender women in particular, adolescence can be one of the least sexually gratifying times due to things like shame and lack of information. 20s Hormonally speaking, this is a time when most folks want to get after it. But Dr. O’Reilly says due to body image, communication, and relationship issues, for folks not in long-term, loving relationships, this decade may not be one of super-satisfying (or orgasmic!) romps. 30s Stress is a libido killer. And for many, due to kids, work, household responsibilities, and aging parents, their 30s are a high-stress time. Oh, and speaking of kids… the 30s are the prime decade for baby-making. For those who get pregnant, the hormonal fluctuations during and after pregnancy can result in less interest in sex for the time being, says Dr. O’Reilly. 40s For folks of all genders and sexualities, testosterone levels dip this decade, which can lead to less frisky business. For vulva-owners this is due to perimenopause, and for penis-havers this is due to the natural aging process. But, rest assured, Dr. O’Reilly says things that often accompany this decade can lead to a higher interest in sex and more fulfilling sex. For example: kids leaving the house

improved feelings about oneself and one’s body

What are 5 ways to say I love you?
What are 5 ways to say I love you?

Classic ways to say “I love you” I love you. Sweet, simple and easy to remember. ... I'm in love with you. This phrase is a bit more intense than...

Read More »
What will a man do when he misses you?
What will a man do when he misses you?

Texting you frequently, talking about you when with friends or others, getting jealous, drunk texting or calling you, trying everything he can to...

Read More »

increased comfort with a partner

reduced financial stress 50s The average age penis-having folks go on Viagra is 53, which suggests many struggle to maintain an erection this decade. And the average age vulva-owners hit menopause is 51, which can lead to less interest in sex and vaginal dryness. But Dr. O’Reilly says things like vaginal moisturizers, lube, more creative understandings of sex (oral! anal! humping! kissing!) can make this an incredibly pleasurable and orgasm-rich decade. 60s and beyond Sure, your libido may be a less high than it was 40 years ago. But there’s no rule that says your sex life is worse in your 60s than it was in your 20s, says Dr. McDevitt. “Some people get divorced in their 60s and get swept off their feet by an exciting new love and find that their sex drive rockets,” she says. Others discover new ways of having sex with their long-term partner that are even more pleasurable.

How do you know a man loves you in a long distance relationship?
How do you know a man loves you in a long distance relationship?

15 signs of true love in a long-distance relationship Strong commitment. ... They will be patient with you. ... You trust each other. ... Their...

Read More »
How do I know if I'm wasting my time with him?
How do I know if I'm wasting my time with him?

8 signs that this man is just wasting your time He avoids meeting your family. ... When he talks about the future, he doesn't include you. ... He...

Read More »
What is the rule of 3 dating?
What is the rule of 3 dating?

The third-date rule is a dating rule or dating etiquette which dictates that both parties wait to sleep together until at least the third date, at...

Read More »
How do you know if it's like or love?
How do you know if it's like or love?

How do you know when you're in love? Your thoughts return to them regularly. ... You feel safe with them. ... Life feels more exciting. ... You...

Read More »