Infatuation Rules
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What base comes after kissing?

First Base First Base: Getting to first base usually means kissing or making out.

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We all know what getting to first base means, and I hope we all know what counts as a home run, but those second and third base definitions can get kind of tricky. I say we settle and define them! I don't know about you, but I love baseball. Hello, tight white pants! And I'm thrilled that a sport I actually understand plays host to some of the best sexual innuendo around. A few weeks back, we helped a reader who wasn't sure about having the exclusive talk with her guy. When she mentioned they'd gone to second base, we all had different ideas about what it involved. I'd love to get your input on the bases-as-sex definitions. Let's play ball, shall we? Here are the generally agreed upon basics: First Base: Getting to first base usually means kissing or making out. Why kissing is deemed so racy that it actually needs a sports metaphor is kind of beyond me, but I'll go with it. Second Base: Rounding second involves copping a feel. That is, someone is groping your chest or booty. Or vice versa. Third Base: Generally speaking, reaching third is all about hands in the pants.

Home Base: Hitting a homer refers to having sex. Score!

Whenever I chat about this topic (which is really quite often) there's always a bit of disagreement when it comes to second and third. To me, oral sex deserves its own base way more than a measly grab. If it were up to me, I'd include the whole feeling up business in first base. Second base would involve touching down there and oral would be placed at third. But that's just me. It has been suggested that some of the confusion might be cleared up by designating "minor" and "major" leagues of play. That is, if you're "playing" in the minors, your bases would refer to the bolded list above. Whereas playing in the majors would follow the definitions I prefer.

What do you think about the baseball metaphor? When you use it, do you refer to minor or major league play? And because I'm feeling nosy, when was the last time you scored a home run?

Sports are so sexy.

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Photo: Jupiter Images. Image used for illustrative purposes only.

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