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What are things a narcissist would say?

Typically, these narcissistic traits cover deep rooted insecurities and fears. There is no grand list of specific phrases narcissists use, but there are common phrases to look out for like, “My exes are all crazy,” and, “You're too sensitive,” as well as a host of manipulation tactics to try to control you.

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What Is a Narcissist?

A narcissist views themself as better, more special, and more deserving than others. They tend to have a diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), which is marked by grandiose thinking, an inflated ego, lack of empathy, and a need to be admired by all. Typically, these narcissistic traits cover deep rooted insecurities and fears. There is no grand list of specific phrases narcissists use, but there are common phrases to look out for like, “My exes are all crazy,” and, “You’re too sensitive,” as well as a host of manipulation tactics to try to control you.

Here are 25 things narcissists say and do, and what they mean:

1. You’re so jealous and insecure.

They say this because they feel threatened by your confrontation. They’re not open to hearing your thoughts because it reminds them of the ugly parts of themselves they don’t want to face. They make it about something wrong with you to avoid taking responsibility for their emotions and past

2. My exes are all crazy.

They say this to try to make you feel special by not calling you crazy, but it’s meant to manipulate you into believing that they were always wronged and that maybe you will be different. Because we want to be seen, we may believe that we won’t also be called crazy down the line. They say this because they want to keep you as a narcissist supplier.

3. You’re overreacting.

They are emotionally manipulating you by devaluing you and saying that your emotions are not valid. They want to say whatever they want without consequences, so when you react, they will call it an overreaction and diminish your experience as a type of narcissist abuse.

4. I love you more than anything.

They do this to manipulate you by love bombing after a period of turmoil. They may hope that your soft side will take over and you will forget the negativity. This is said to keep you in a narcissist abuse cycle. This could also be one of the things narcissists say in hopes you come back to them after you left.

5. You have trust issues.

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They say this because they don’t want to validate how you feel or consider how their actions contributed to any feelings of insecurity. This is a way of gaslighting you, wearing you down, making you dependent on them, and causing you to feel like you’re alone.

6. You need to toughen up.

They say this because they think that showing compassion is weak and that you should be able to handle what they say. Sometimes narcissistic parents say this to their children instead of giving the emotional support children need.

7. It’s not my fault, you made me do it.

This is a way to skirt any real responsibility for a situation or outcome and can be done by a partner or a parent. They really mean that they are incapable of taking ownership and will make you responsible for anything negative but would take credit for anything positive.

8. We’re perfect together.

This is a way to love bomb you and gaslight you into thinking that everything is alright, even if it doesn’t feel that way. They could also be trying to get you to reciprocate. Plus, if they are not always kind, saying this is a way to keep you on the hook.

9. No wonder no one likes you.

This is a direct message to make you feel worthless. They say this because they consider you to be less than them and that you should be grateful they are with you. It’s demeaning and disrespectful, and shows the true colors of a narcissist and just a tip of their rage.

10. You’re too sensitive.

This can come from both narcissistic parents or partners. They say this because they don’t want to acknowledge that their words hurt you, so they make it your fault. It’s a ploy to manipulate you and your feelings and gaslight you into thinking that maybe you are too sensitive.

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