Infatuation Rules
Infatuation Rules
Photo: Ron Lach
For the person on the receiving end, someone experiencing a narcissistic collapse may look out of control, extremely angry, and vindictive. In some cases, it may look like someone withdrawing altogether and giving them the silent treatment.
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Read More »Narcissistic collapse is an intense emotional reaction experienced by a narcissistic person when they sense a setback. It can lead to withdrawal or vindictive behaviors. The signs of narcissistic collapse may vary from person to person. In general, it may involve intense emotional reactions and a tendency toward vindictive behaviors, but it could also lead to depression and withdrawal. Narcissistic collapse isn’t a permanent occurrence once it happens. Typically, the emotional pain will decrease and the person may return to feeling their usual. In popular culture, people with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are often portrayed as self-assured, confident individuals who care nothing about others. In reality, people with NPD are complex emotional beings like everyone else. They live with a mental health condition that has formal symptoms like grandiosity, low empathy, and the constant need for praise and admiration. Although there’s no consensus about it, some experts have found that this attitude of superiority may help them compensate for fragile self-esteem and a sense of vulnerability. There’s limited research about it, though, and it’s difficult to determine whether this really applies to everyone with a narcissistic personality. Narcissistic collapse: What is it? Narcissistic collapse refers to an emotional reaction that some people with narcissistic personality disorder experience under specific circumstances. It isn’t a condition or a formal symptom of NPD. It may also be more common among people with certain types of narcissism. What causes a narcissistic collapse? Mental health experts have observed that, sometimes, when a narcissistic person doesn’t receive the external validation they believe they deserve, it can result in a high level of stress and hurt. This emotional pain may turn into narcissistic rage. This rage is at the core of a narcissistic collapse. It’s a good idea to remember, though, that we’re all unique. In this sense, not everyone who lives with NPD behaves or feels in the same way. At the same time, not everyone with NPD experiences narcissistic collapses, and if they do, they might not act in the same way. Instead, some assume a narcissistic breakdown is a behavioral and emotional response to frustration and pain when someone feels they’ve had a setback. Dr. Alexander Lapa, a psychiatrist at Ocean Recovery Centre in Blackpool, United Kingdom, explains that narcissistic collapse happens when a person with NPD can’t maintain their superior or confident image. When a narcissistic person doesn’t get a constant supply of validation or someone injures their self-esteem, their confident and superior facade can collapse. A narcissistic collapse may happen because others don’t see the person like they want to be seen, for example. Or perhaps they didn’t get that promotion that they were convinced they deserved. Or their partner has left them. “A collapse can also be triggered as a self-defense technique if they feel their self-image or self-esteem is being threatened,” explains Lapa. For example, perhaps they’ve been exposed for doing something unethical or engaging in a narcissistic manipulation game. According to research, those with covert or vulnerable narcissism may be more likely to lash out when experiencing a collapse. This means that they may be more likely to act in vindictive ways or express rage than people with overt narcissism. It may be challenging for some people to empathize with a narcissist if they’ve been on the receiving end of manipulation tactics or dismissive behaviors. But feeling their superiority or self-image threatened can be a very painful experience for someone with NPD. How they act might be an expression of this intense emotional pain. Signs of a narcissistic collapse Not everyone who receives a diagnosis of narcissistic personality experiences it in the same way or with the same intensity. The same goes for a narcissistic collapse. How do you know, then, if someone’s having one? The answer isn’t straightforward. Some people going through a collapse may withdraw and silently experience intense sadness and frustration. Others may act impulsively and in hurtful ways toward other people. Lapa explains that a person having a narcissistic collapse may gravitate towards behaviors that may put their or other people’s safety in jeopardy. They may, for example, engage in: gambling
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