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What are the signs of emotional infidelity?

Signs of Emotional Cheating They turn to someone else for comfort. ... They grow a deeper connection with someone else besides you. ... They're defensive or secretive about a relationship. ... Sudden lack of desire. ... Increased — and seemingly unexplained — irritability. ... They don't want to “put the time or work” into the relationship. More items... •

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Signs of Emotional Cheating

There are several emotional cheating signs you should be aware of, especially if you suspect that your partner or spouse might be involved in an emotional relationship outside of your own. Jealousy can lead one to believe that emotional cheating is taking place in their relationship. It is important to keep this in mind when you evaluate whether or not your partner is emotionally cheating on you or not. Typically, an emotional affair tends to start with the basic exchange of personal information. Then, as two people develop a deeper friendship or connection, what started as innocent information swapping — like names and perhaps phone numbers or email addresses — can begin to culminate in a deeper level of intimacy. Some common signs that your partner may be emotionally cheating on you can include:

They turn to someone else for comfort

If your partner or spouse seems to be seeking levels of comfort from a person other than you, this may be a sign they’re having an inappropriate emotional affair. It also is probably crossing a boundary. Turning to a third-party instead of the person you’re supposed to be committed to can result in a massive breach of trust. Even if that comfort is in a non-sexual manner, consistently going to somebody else who’s not part of your committed relationship can be problematic and lead to distrust and fear about further betrayals.

They grow a deeper connection with someone else besides you

Nurturing and developing a deep connection with somebody outside of your relationship can lead to oversharing and exchanging of personal, private details that are probably inappropriate. Much of the time, these exchanges would be sensitive in nature and probably incredibly hurtful.

They’re defensive or secretive about a relationship

If your partner seems to be defensive about an outside relationship, it might be because emotional cheating is going on. Secondary relationships that aren’t out in the open or that seem secretive can be a clear-cut sign of an inappropriate relationship. Even if that relationship isn’t physical, the fact that they’re defensive should probably be a red flag and can rightfully be concerning.

Sudden lack of desire

If your partner has a sudden or drastic change in their level of desire towards you, there might be cause for concern. A loss of interest in physical intimacy or emotional attachment can be the result of a deeper emotional affair going on. Sometimes sexual attraction can also be a part of this, but it’s not always necessary for an emotional affair to be happening.

Increased — and seemingly unexplained — irritability

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Emotional cheating can cause incredible stress in a relationship. This stress can lead to increased irritability which can often feel confusing. You might notice your partner’s irritability increases after time is spent with the third-party.

They don’t want to “put the time or work” into the relationship

When an emotional affair is happening, it might mean your partner feels less motivated to work on your actual relationship. If you notice that you’re having more fights and arguments, disagreements, frustration, less emotional closeness, and loneliness in your relationship, there might be something more going on. Although it is important to know how to control anger in a relationship, the discontented feeling might be due to the energy and time your partner is putting into outside places.

Openly comparing you to someone else

Does your partner compare you to someone else? Especially if they’ve been spending a lot of time with someone, if you get the sense you’re constantly being judged, there might be some validity for your feelings. If your partner consistently and blatantly drops hints that they wish you were more like somebody else, you have cause for concern.

Gift exchanges

Gifts exchanges can be a sign of multiple breaches of trust in a relationship — both physical and emotional. Especially if you find that sentimental or meaningful gifts are being given, you might want to have a conversation with your partner about why they consider this appropriate behavior.

Hiding communication

Hiding communication like texts or emails, or changing a password on a laptop or computer, or becoming defensive if you ask to see a text or email (or any other exchange of information) can be a pretty significant sign. If you’re thinking an emotional affair might be going on, and your partner seems very secretive, you may be onto something.

talkspace.com - Emotional Cheating: Definition & Signs - Talkspace

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