Infatuation Rules
Infatuation Rules
Photo: Klub Boks
The 5 Biggest Dating Mistakes Mistake #1 is bringing your own negative mental thoughts into the date. ... Mistake #2 is thinking you have to have instant chemistry or fireworks with someone. ... Mistake #3 is narrowing it down to one person too quickly. ... Mistake #4 is having sex too soon. ... Mistake #5 is ignoring red flags.
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Read More »Mistake #1 is bringing your own negative mental thoughts into the date. Thoughts like “I’m not good enough, I only attract bad people, I’m too fat” These stories will keep you stuck where you are. You need to turn these stories into positive ones — “love exists for me. I am beautiful just as I am.” If you tell yourself bad stories, you feel bad, and you know what happens? We do nothing, and sit in the same place we’ve been for months and years. Mistake #2 is thinking you have to have instant chemistry or fireworks with someone. Here’s the real deal behind that — good strong love starts slowly. You may not feel big chemistry on date one, but as long as there are no red flags, you should definitely give the person a second/third date. I’ve seen love stories where the chemistry didn’t start until the 6/7th/8th date or even a few months in. So, even if you’re not feeling a rush, try to screen the person in and see if that chemistry can develop! Mistake #3 is narrowing it down to one person too quickly. So often, we just want to move right into a relationship and focus on just one person at a time - and this is especially true for women. Think of your dating life like a horse race, and you’ve got to have many horses to make it a race. Dating multiple people at the same time helps to keep you objective when you’re out there finding love, and it keeps your dating mojo HIGH. You walk around with a spring in your step when you’ve got a few options - and if someone ghosts, it doesn’t hurt as much because you’ve got a few others in the mix. Mistake #4 is having sex too soon. Some people think there is a three date rule — and this is just not the case. Practice sex-clusivity - or having sex with someone only when you’ve entered into an exclusive relationship — which should be around 2/3 months after you’ve started dating (at the earliest). If you think that sounds crazy or that no one will wait that long for you - I’ll tell you that the right men will. Here’s the scoop — When you have sex and have an orgasm as a woman, you’re emitting very high levels of oxytocin which is the attachment hormone. So, now, you’re chemically attached to a person that you might not love or even know if he’s good for you. This is why women aren’t that wonderful at having casual sex — because we become attached easily. Practice sexclusivity or not having sex before you’re ready, and you’ll be happy you did! Mistake #5 is ignoring red flags. Every single person I’ve helped will tell me that they saw the red flags very early on in their previous relationships — but for whatever reasons, they ignored them. Red flags could be anything from being dishonest, negative, angry, critical or controlling - just to name a few.Always always trust your gut — if something feels wrong, it is wrong. Don’t jump into something too fast if it seems off — you will usually regret it and never ever ignore red flags. Avoid these mistakes and you'll have taken a great first step in finding love!
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Read More »Compliment her to show her your true feelings. Try to compliment her about something other than her looks or her body to show her that you like her for her. You can compliment her any time: right after sex, over text, or just when you two are hanging out. Say something like: “You have such a great sense of humor.
This article was written by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden . Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist, Author, and TV/radio host based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli is currently in private practice and specializes in individual and couples' relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. Kelli also facilitates groups for those struggling with alcohol and drug addiction as well as anger management groups. As an author, she received a Next Generation Indie Book Award for her book "Thriving with ADHD: A Workbook for Kids" and also wrote "Professor Kelli's Guide to Finding a Husband". Kelli was a host on LA Talk Radio, a relationship expert for The Examiner, and speaks globally. You can also see her work on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/kellibmiller, Instagram @kellimillertherapy, and her website: www.kellimillertherapy.com. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida. This article has been viewed 4,975 times.
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