Infatuation Rules
Infatuation Rules
Photo: Andrea Piacquadio
Below are 12 common characteristics of an abuser you may not be aware of. Controlling. Abusers are always trying to gain control over their victims. ... Charming. ... Jealous. ... Inconsistent. ... Manipulative. ... Threatening. ... Demanding. ... Blames the Victim. More items... •
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Read More »Controlling Abusers are always trying to gain control over their victims. They do this physically, through restraint and battery, and emotionally, by establishing himself in every branch of her life. Charming Abusers portrays themselves as warm, kind, and caring in order to gain trust and discredit claims of abuse against them. Jealous Abusers may become jealous and angry when their victim spends time with their friends, when they text other people, or even when they go to work. Inconsistent Abusers often exhibit mood swings, and these are unpredictable. They may be smiling one moment and enraged the next. Manipulative Abusers say specific things to evoke responses from their victims. They know exactly what to say and how to act in order to get what they want. Threatening Abusers are known for threatening their victims, but they may also threaten to harm their pets, their children, or even themselves as a means of maintaining control over their victim. Demanding Abusers want complete power over their victims. They often demand to know where their victims go, who they see, and what they do at all times. Blames the Victim Abusers place all the blame on others and never on themselves. They may recite lines such as “If you did what I asked I wouldn’t have to hurt you” or “I only hit you because you told your friends about me.” Attacks Self-Esteem Abusers want to make their victims feel reliant on them. They will tell the victim that they are worthless, ugly, stupid, or unwanted. The less worth they have, the more the victim feels they need their abuser. Isolation Abusers often want to be the only one their victims talk to and depend on. They will try to isolate them from their friends, family, and coworkers so they will have nowhere to go. Rigid Gender Roles Abusers might hold rigid, outdated beliefs about gender roles that place women as inferior to men. They might believe that women should stay within the home, obey orders from men, and do whatever possible to please men. He expects this treatment from her.
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