Infatuation Rules
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What are the 5 stages of manipulation?

Stages of manipulation and coercion Targeting stage. The alleged abuser may: Friendship-forming stage. The alleged abuser may: Loving relationship stage. Once they have established trust, the alleged abuser may: Abusive relationship stage. The alleged abuser may:

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The child protection organisation Barnardo’s developed a resource Working with children who are victims or at risk of sexual exploitation: Barnardo’s model of practice (2017). This resource is designed to support professionals working with at-risk young people. It was developed in consultation with young people who have been sexually exploited and reflects their experiences. It educates young people and service providers about common patterns of behaviour that are used to manipulate, coerce and entrap young people into a sexually exploitative relationship. Practitioners can also use this information to talk to young people about their relationships and help them distinguish between a loving and respectful relationship and one that is exploitative. Under this model, the stages of manipulation and coercion leading to exploitation are explained as follows:

Targeting stage. The alleged abuser may:

look for young people who may already be vulnerable, for example, young people who are sad, lonely, have harmful sexual behaviours or are using alcohol or other drugs

watch and target the young person

try to understand the young person and identify their interests

become friends with the young person and show care for them, giving gifts or compliments

gain the young person’s trust

share the young person’s information with other abusive adults.

Friendship-forming stage. The alleged abuser may:

put a great deal of effort into becoming someone the young person can trust and rely on

make the young person feel special

be skilled at understanding the young person in a way others do not

give them gifts and rewards

listen to and value the young person

ask the young person to keep secrets about what they are doing together

support the young person and be their ‘best friend’

test out physical contact by “accidentally” touching them

offer the young person protection from bullying by their peers or abusive adults.

Loving relationship stage. Once they have established trust, the alleged abuser may:

become the young person’s ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend’

isolate the young person from their friends and family so that they feel dependent on them (and their network) for friendship and social connection

establish a sexual relationship

lower the young person’s inhibitions, for example, by showing them pornography

engage the young person in illegal activities, for example drinking alcohol or taking drugs be inconsistent in their affection, for example, making promises they don’t keep or being loving one day and distant the next ask the young person to keep secrets about what they are doing together

support the young person and being their ‘best friend’

offer the young person protection from bullying by their peers or abusive adults. For young people who critically value social connection and acceptance, the threat of rejection by the alleged abuser and further social isolation can be a powerful tool to ensure their compliance.

Abusive relationship stage. The alleged abuser may:

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It’s natural for people in relationships to experience problems as the relationship grows. Sometimes these problems stem from emotions or greed. One type of problem that can surface in any type of relationship is manipulation. This is a problem that can lead to others along the way. Learn the signs of manipulation and what to do about it if it surfaces in your relationships with others.

What Is Manipulation?

Manipulation is the exercise of harmful influence over others. People who manipulate others attack their mental and emotional sides to get what they want. The person manipulating — called the manipulator — seeks to create an imbalance of power, and take advantage of a victim to get power, control, benefits, and/or privileges at the expense of the victim. Manipulation can happen in close or casual relationships, but they are more common in closely formed relationships. In a way, everyone can manipulate others to get what they want. But manipulation is defined as any attempt to sway someone’s emotions to get them to act or feel a certain way. Manipulators have common tricks they’ll use to make you feel irrational and more likely to give in to their requests. A few common examples include:

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