Infatuation Rules
Photo by Ketut Subiyanto Pexels Logo Photo: Ketut Subiyanto

What are the 3 I's that cause divorce?

Tess Brigham, a therapist, told Insider that over such a long marriage, tension can build up in one of three main relationship categories, or the three I's: incompatibility, infidelity, and irreconcilable differences.

How do you know she won't come back?
How do you know she won't come back?

18 Signs Your Ex Is Never Coming Back There's no communication. Save. ... Your conversations have gone dull. ... You have been friend-zoned. ......

Read More »
How do you make a man crave and miss you?
How do you make a man crave and miss you?

Simply be courteous and keep some physical distance between you two whenever you meet. Let him have his space but do let him know you miss him once...

Read More »

Bill and Melinda Gates announced on Monday that they would divorce.

Insider spoke to attorneys and relationship therapists about the main reasons couples get divorced.

One therapist said it comes down to incompatibility, infidelity, and irreconcilable differences.

Top editors give you the stories you want — delivered right to your inbox each weekday. Loading Something is loading. Thanks for signing up! Access your favorite topics in a personalized feed while you're on the go. download the app Email address By clicking ‘Sign up’, you agree to receive marketing emails from Insider as well as other partner offers and accept our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy Bill and Melinda Gates announced on Monday that they would divorce, mutually tweeting that they were ending their 27-year marriage.

Melinda Gates' petition for divorce called their marriage "irretrievably broken."

Tess Brigham, a therapist, told Insider that over such a long marriage, tension can build up in one of three main relationship categories, or the three I's: incompatibility, infidelity, and irreconcilable differences. Here's how the three I's can affect a couple over their marriage, according to therapists and attorneys.

Incompatibility in living, spending, and romantic habits can build resentment over time

Brigham said some of the most common incompatibilities that lead to divorce are politics and religion.

Marilyn Chinitz, Tom Cruise's divorce attorney, disagreed.

"For most people, money is the No. 1 reason why people get divorced," Chinitz told Insider. While having different opinions isn't necessarily a deal-breaker, an inability to compromise and talk about those differences is a huge problem, Brigham said. "While someone might say, 'We couldn't agree on money,' what that really means is 'We fought all the time about money, my partner never listened to me, they spent money behind my back without telling me,'" she said. "Another couple might have different beliefs about money, but if they can speak to each other respectively and hear each other's point of view, then they're not going to break up over it."

Infidelity can permanently break trust

Kari Lichtenstein, a founding partner of Stutman Stutman Lichtenstein & Felder, told Insider that infidelity is one of the main reasons people file for divorce. Infidelity occurs when one or both partners are intimate with another person outside of their vows, Brigham told Insider. Infidelity can lead to lasting trust issues in a marriage that can ultimately make the relationship crumble. Irreconcilable differences like goals and parenting styles are discussed too late in a relationship, experts say It's natural for couples to grow and change over their marriage, but the difference between a successful marriage and a failing one is whether couples grow together or apart, Brigham said. A relationship can deteriorate in the early years of marriage if a couple has different opinions on having children and how to raise them, she said. Michael Stutman, also a founding partner of Stutman Stutman Lichtenstein & Felder, told Insider that differences in how a couple views their individual and joint futures could come up after their children have left the house. "Even if a couple makes it through the child-raising years, when faced with an empty nest they can easily get to the point where the Gateses found themselves, where the relationship has run its course and they want something more," Stutman said.

What does a third date mean to a guy?
What does a third date mean to a guy?

What does a third date mean to a guy? It means he, at least, likes spending time with you. If you've reached the third date, you can pretty much...

Read More »
What is the fastest way to build trust?
What is the fastest way to build trust?

Ten of the most effective ways to build trust Value long-term relationships. Trust requires long-term thinking. ... Be honest. ... Honor your...

Read More »

What causes couples to fall out of love?

Communication issues and unrealistic expectations are two of the main reasons people find themselves falling out of love. But there are things that can be done to stop the fall. Relationships are hard work; they should be viewed as investments, particularly if there is a marriage.

It may be more difficult for women to come to terms with, or even admit, that they are having problems maintaining the feelings of love for their spouses. They have to make a decision to dissolve or save the marriage while battling conflicting emotions. Men seem to be getting all the attention when it comes to relationship muck-ups and falling out of love. Bestselling book, Why Men Fall out of Love (2005), by Michael French, was a big hit with readers, but no such book has been written about women. Women, meanwhile, often think they are the “fixers” of the relationship, and tend to seek out information to remedy the problem. They may perceive men to be indifferent and construe their lack of communication as cruel. As the women feel more neglected, the slow process of falling out of love begins. Neglect isn’t as concrete as infidelity or physical abuse, so it is a tougher area to discuss directly. See your partner for who he is. If he treats you poorly now, he will later. If he has a bad habit of putting you down in front of his friends, see it as a red flag. These actions may not make you feel like falling out of love now, but soon enough they will wear on you.

How do you tell if the spark is gone?
How do you tell if the spark is gone?

Top 20 signs the spark in your relationship has gone: You have little to no sex. You don't cuddle at night. Stop saying "I love you" You don't do...

Read More »
What does an S stand for in a relationship?
What does an S stand for in a relationship?

In the dating world, a significant other refers to a partner, girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse, or someone with whom you share an intimate, romantic...

Read More »
What is the number one problem in relationships?
What is the number one problem in relationships?

Communication Issues The most common complaint among married couples is lack of communication. Many couples put up with problems rather than try to...

Read More »
How do you know if someone does not value you?
How do you know if someone does not value you?

Couple's relationship coach in Fairmont, West Virginia, Cheri Timko says other signs that someone doesn't care about you may include if they: don't...

Read More »