What are the 3 first loves?

The three loves that she came up with are the following: Lust, Passion, and Commitment. These three loves occur in different parts of the brain and occur independently from each other. For instance, you can be “in lust” with someone but have no perceived commitment to them (e.g., one night stands).

markmanson.net - The Three Loves Theory - Mark Manson

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Love Three: Commitment

If two people remain in passion for long enough, and there is a long-term compatibility where they can continue to share new life experiences together indefinitely, then commitment will arise. Commitment is an unbelievably powerful feeling and occurs rarely in life. Commitment is when the passion of Love Two persists to the point that it’s unconditional. Couples that are in Love Two and not Love Three will often feel great until something happens: he loses his job, she has a miscarriage, he starts drinking, etc. Commitment is when you emotionally accept and love the other person’s flaws as much as their strengths. Scientists have actually shown that for couples who reach that level of commitment, their senses of self actually merge with the other person.6 What researchers have done is observe neural activation patterns in these long-term couples. They found that if you ask a man married for 20 years to think about his wife getting into a car accident, and then ask him to think about himself getting into a car accident, the same “self” spots in his brain will light up, whereas it won’t for anybody else. And it won’t for couples who have not been at the Third Love of commitment for a long period of time. Commitment arises with the idea that the relationship will persist indefinitely. The only way it can end is if one or both parties of a relationship change individually to the point where it becomes harmful for the other person to self-identify with their partner: again, think of the husband who becomes an alcoholic, or the wife who keeps cheating, etc. Sometimes even then, the power of commitment holds on, depending on the individuals. Passion and Lust can disappear well after Commitment arises without affecting the Commitment. In this way, each love is a pre-requisite for the subsequent love to emerge, but once it has, it’s no longer necessary. Lust is needed for passion, but passion can exist later without it. Passion must exist for commitment, but later on, commitment can exist without it. There are timetables for each love, although these are very arbitrary and will vary widely from person to person and couple to couple. But it’s helpful to think about this: Lust is instantaneous and comes and goes constantly, being very easy to retrieve once lost. Passion takes anywhere from a few days to a few weeks to emerge, and usually sticks around for 3-6 months. In highly compatible couples, it will persevere but still require effort and constant communication to maintain beyond a couple years. Commitment arises after anywhere from 1-3 years together and remains for a lifetime unless two people grow apart as individuals, in which case it often takes years to undo itself. (Cover image: “Couples on Kuta” by Nor Sasono is licensed under CC BY 2.0)

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What does Romans 8 36 39 mean?

Paul argues “You don't need their affection – if you understand the affection Jesus has for you, their love pales to nothing.” That would mean the Roman believers would experience the suffering of rejection by the competing Jewish “authorities,” and rejection is painful to experience.

thebiblesays.com - Romans 8:36-39 meaning | TheBibleSays.com

Following the law, or rules, can never make us spiritual, but walking in the Spirit fulfills the law. Institutions, and people in general, are inclined to use rules to attempt to control others, using the threat of condemnation to control them. But there is no condemnation for those who are in Jesus, so there is no reason for believers to submit to such control. Paul is arming the Roman believers receiving this letter, who are already world-famous for their faith, with the knowledge that no person or circumstance can separate us from the perfect and all-encompassing love of Jesus, so they will reject the competing Jewish “authorities” attempt to condemn them in order to gain control. Further, Paul offers up the reality that serving Jesus (rather than men) will bring the suffering Jesus suffered (including rejection by men) but that suffering leads to an unfathomable reward – to be a joint-heir with Jesus, to co-inherit what Jesus inherited for His faithfulness to His Father. For all these reasons, Paul exhorts the believers in Rome, and by extension us, to reject the control of rule-making legalism and serve Jesus with a true heart.

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