Infatuation Rules
Infatuation Rules
Photo: Samson Katt
Here's a look at some signs of emotional immaturity that can show up in a relationship and steps you can take if you recognize them in your own. They won't go deep. ... Everything is about them. ... They become defensive. ... They have commitment issues. ... They don't own their mistakes. ... You feel more alone than ever.
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Read More »Share on Pinterest Picture this: You’re out on the town with your partner at a fancy new restaurant. Everything seems perfect. But when you try asking them about your future together, they keep switching the subject. Finally, you point it out, only to have them crack a joke at your expense — leaving you feeling all shades of frustration. While we’ve all had our moments of childishness, these antics can end up taking a toll on relationships, because the other person is failing to take your feelings into account. What exactly is it? Someone emotionally immature will find it hard to effectively communicate or process their emotions and can often appear selfish or aloof. What are the key characteristics? Here’s a look at some signs of emotional immaturity that can show up in a relationship and steps you can take if you recognize them in your own. They won’t go deep As we can see in the above scenario, an emotionally immature partner will delay tough conversations because they aren’t able to make sense of their feelings or find them too overwhelming to deal with. They’ll skim the surface of topics without revealing much and won’t connect with you on a deeper level. Here are some diversion tactics they might use: laughing instead of opening up
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Read More »“My assistant forgot to remind me of today’s lunch date.” You feel more alone than ever More than anything, you feel lonely and sense an “intimacy gap” in your relationship. Bonding or connecting with your significant other becomes stunted because you feel a lack of support, understanding, and respect. There’s also no way for you to articulate your needs and desires to discuss improvements. How to handle it If you find yourself nodding along and recognize the above signs in your partner, not all hope is lost. Emotional immaturity doesn’t necessarily mean things aren’t destined to work out. The key factor here is if the other person is willing to make a change. If so, below are some ways you can approach this kind of behavior. Initiate a straightforward conversation Bring it to their attention. One of the simplest yet potent things we can do is to talk to the other person and be open to feedback. You can let them know how their behavior is affecting you by using “I” statements and then proposing possible solutions. This trains your brain to respond, and not react out of anger or frustration. Here are some of the following you can try: “When we moved in together, we had plans to marry in a year. I feel hurt and concerned that you won’t discuss the topic with me anymore. Would you please help me figure out the reasons you’re hesitating?” “When I am doing so many chores around the house every day, I feel overwhelmed and exhausted. Are there ways you can help me out with the weekly laundry and food preparation?” Create healthy boundaries Stop picking up the slack for your partner and engaging with them when they come up with excuses for poor choices. It’s important they understand that their behavior has consequences and that you won’t keep participating in their unhealthy dynamic. Below are some ways to be more assertive and set boundaries: Be self-aware. Have an awareness of your own comfort level. Identify which situations make you feel hurt, uneasy, or angry. Have an awareness of your own comfort level. Identify which situations make you feel hurt, uneasy, or angry. Communicate with your partner. Mention that there are certain things you won’t tolerate, like being shouted at or lied to.
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Read More »Mention that there are certain things you won’t tolerate, like being shouted at or lied to. Follow through on what you say. No exceptions. This can mean taking the high road during temper tantrums and letting them know you’ll be willing to talk once they’re ready to discuss things maturely. Seek professional help Talking through fears and insecurities can help someone develop more self-awareness about the effect their actions have on others. If your partner is willing to work on themselves, addressing issues with a qualified therapist can help them identify their feelings and find healthy coping skills.
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