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What are men's needs in a relationship?

Men want love as badly as women do. They just might not always be as obvious about it. But generally, they want the same thing: friendship, companionship, chemistry.

ocregister.com - 10 rules for keeping a man happy in a relationship - Orange County Register

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Men want love as badly as women do. They just might not always be as obvious about it. But generally, they want the same thing: friendship, companionship, chemistry. So why is there so much confusion and miscommunication between the sexes?

Rules. Some have been handed down through the generations. Others are ones we “see” to be true. And, of course, there are the ones written from our personal history. There are some universal rules applying to men that you probably could find inscribed on the walls of caves from long ago. They still ring true today: 1. Praise. Men adore women who shower them with adulation. Praise is like candy – good for everyone. 2. Nagging. Men hate it. Tell them once what you want. You have a 50-50 chance it will be done. Tell them more than that within a 24-hour period and it’s called nagging. Complain to your mother. Give him dirty looks. Close the kitchen and the bedroom. But whatever you do, don’t nag. 3. Crying. Men really hate it. They have no defense. You finally get him to have a serious talk and you start crying because you don’t like how it’s going. Well, girlfriend, you killed that one. Not only is the discussion over, but you put him in a lose-lose situation. If he ignores your emotions, he’s insensitive. Finish the talk, then cry to the dog. Or a friend. 4. Where is this relationship going? Really? You have eyes; use them. It’s obvious. You just don’t want to face it, so you’re making him do the dirty work and spit it out. Take the cue. Do what you have to do. If he doesn’t like it, he’ll fight to get you back. 5. Food. His mother knew the way to his heart. And if she didn’t, here’s your opportunity. Men love to eat. And be served. If you like to cook, you lucked out on this one. If you don’t, you’re a dummy if you can’t find takeout that will look, taste and smell like homemade. 6. Action Jacksons. Men either love to be on the move or watch other men move, mostly on TV or at a stadium. Either way, they need it. And they’ll love you for it if you don’t complain about it. He has high respect for a woman who knows the importance of giving him space when he needs it.

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7. Sex. Psst. It’s good for both of you. It keeps the connection and relieves stress and tension. He’ll be putty in your hands. Cook a meal for him after and he’ll be so happy he might even cry. 8. Relinquish the need for control. Worse than anything, a man hates when a woman is constantly trying to control every situation. It’s emasculating and it’s degrading, both to you and him. You’re not very fun or pretty when you’re controlling. Until you get a grip on your fears or whatever is making you work this ugly trait, your relationship will suffer. Let him be the man. You’re with him for a reason. He’s capable. Let him prove it. He’ll love you for it. 9. The power of touch. Touch heals. It’s the unspoken word of forgiveness, love, warmth and compassion. We all can use a little. Men crave it. It makes them closer to you and they will touch back. 10. Love. And more love. Tell him. Hug him. Text him. Laugh with him. Leave love notes in the bathroom or in his car. All the time. You’ll get it back in spades. It’s contagious and it keeps the special spark glowing bright. Lorraine McDaniel, a San Juan Capistrano resident, owns Start’n Over Fabulous (www.startnoverfab.com), which helps guide people through the mysteries of dating. Email Lorraine at jorlorr@yahoo.com.

ocregister.com - 10 rules for keeping a man happy in a relationship - Orange County Register

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