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What are green flags in a partner?

“Green flags are positive indicators that a connection has the potential to flourish into a safe, healthy, lasting relationship,” Shanita Brown, PhD, a licensed clinical mental health counselor and instructor of counselor education at East Carolina University, tells SELF.

self.com - 8 Relationship Green Flags You Should Definitely Pay Attention To

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When it comes to relationship deal breakers, there’s virtually no end to the list. From seemingly harmless behaviors like love bombing to talking smack about exes, red flags get plenty of attention in the dating world—even if some people choose to ignore them. What you don’t hear about as often? Green flags in a relationship—you know, those promising signs that pop up and may shake you to your core because they’re so damn rare. “Green flags are positive indicators that a connection has the potential to flourish into a safe, healthy, lasting relationship,” Shanita Brown, PhD, a licensed clinical mental health counselor and instructor of counselor education at East Carolina University, tells SELF. “They’re a good sign that you’re compatible with that person and can form a healthy bond.” That all sounds lovely, and like what most people want in a partner, right? But in reality, green flags don’t always get the appreciation they deserve. “For many people, their default mode is to scan for red flags in relationships,” Kelly E. Green, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist and associate professor of psychology at St. Edward’s University in Austin, tells SELF. “We’re conditioned to look out for danger more than safety in most areas of our lives,” she says. This “negativity bias” isn’t entirely unhelpful, of course: It’s super important to look out for indicators of a toxic person. But by failing to note the good stuff, you could also miss out on something really great. That’s why we asked Dr. Green and other experts for their top relationship green flags. Surprisingly (or maybe not?), the list is far shorter than the red flags that should send you sprinting in the other direction.

1. They respect your boundaries, full stop.

The lines you draw for yourself in relationships are not only a way to ensure you feel comfortable and safe, but also to show yourself respect—and ask for respect from others. That’s why, according to Dr. Brown, when someone crosses those lines, or even slightly pushes them, you’re in red flag territory. On the flip side, when someone is respectful of and curious about your boundaries and needs, that’s a big ol’ green flag. It’s an “appreciation of your individuality” and an open-minded acceptance of those limits you’ve set for yourself, Dr. Brown says. If you tell a boundary-respecter that you don’t like to jog with other people because it’s your precious alone time, they might ask you about your feelings but they won’t guilt trip you, even if they’d prefer to hit the road together. If a certain sexual activity makes you uncomfortable and you’re simply not interested in doing it, they won’t get angry or continuously try to push for you to give in. Along with respect, honoring boundaries is also about “feeling supported and safe to be vulnerable,” Dr. Brown says. 2. They know how to express their feelings—or are actively working on their communication skills. You’ve heard it a million times for good reason: Communication is key in any healthy relationship. It won’t shock you to learn, then, that being able to talk with your partner in a productive and healthy way, in which you “both feel really seen and heard,” is the ultimate green flag, according to Dr. Green.

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What is a blanket apology?

Blanket Apology focuses on strategies of communication that are used when public figures give public apologies. Like Speech Bubble (2008), Blanket Apology is a dialogue between a man and a woman.

argosarts.org - Blanket Apology - argos centre for audiovisual arts

Blanket Apology focuses on strategies of communication that are used when public figures give public apologies. Like Speech Bubble (2008), Blanket Apology is a dialogue between a man and a woman. The man is attempting to offer an apology for his sexual perversion, unethical medical practices, theft, and hubris; while at the same time attempting to ’save face’ and maintain his position as a public figure. The woman is demanding an apology and an explanation; while at the same time being manipulated by the man’s linguistic and sociological tricks. Blanket Apology was inspired by the apologies from the catholic church for sex abuse in 2010, the admission of guilt by Pol Hauspie (of Lernout & Hauspie) for corporate fraud, and the recent apology by the US government for the ’Guatemalan Syphilis Experiment’.