Infatuation Rules
Photo: Ivan Samkov
They found 55 percent of people fall in love for the first time between the ages of 15 and 18. So it's more than half, but that means 45 percent of people still haven't been in love when they enter college.
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Read More »As I've gotten older I've realized that your first love is your first love — no matter what age you have it at. I've watched 25-year-olds and 35-year-olds all experience that first love feeling: completely head-over-heels, rushing into things, not listening reason, being in love with the idea of being in a relationship, even when their partner was kind of crappy. And it can be difficult if you're older when it happens for the first time. I've noticed people who don't start dating until their twenties or later always feel like they're the last person on earth who hasn't been in love. It makes them feel really isolated. And then, when they go through the inevitable ups and downs, people are less sympathetic, because they're older and "should know better." But your first love is your first love, no matter when it happens. IllicitEncounters, Britain's dating site for married people, surveyed a random pool of 1,000 people and found out when people actually fall in love for the first time. And though for most people it happens young, it's certainly not true for everyone. They found 55 percent of people fall in love for the first time between the ages of 15 and 18. So it's more than half, but that means 45 percent of people still haven't been in love when they enter college. Here's what else they learned about the age we first fall in love.
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Read More »Should We Break Up? 9 Signs It's Time To End Your Relationship You talk about the relationship improving in some hypothetical future. You're feeling pressured to change, and it makes you feel less worthy as a result. You feel loved and supported...but only when you're happy. More items...
You should feel happy and secure when you're together, when you're apart, when your partner is out drinking without you, and in any other scenario really. If you feel largely abandoned or unsure when you're not physically together or communicating digitally, that's a sign that your relationship is not as supportive or healthy as it should be. Now, it should be noted that insecurity in the pockets between texting, calling, and being together could also be an indicator of insecure attachment—something that's best explored further with your therapist. It's not your partner's responsibility to heal those wounds (at least entirely). If this sounds like it might be an issue for you, I do encourage you to learn more about your attachment style and connect with a mental health professional. However, for those of us who developed "attachment issues" somewhere along the way, we tend to seek out relationships that mirror those early attachment relationships. And so, we might be maintaining a less than optimal relationship with our partner because it's what we know and not because it's what's healthy. The right partner will be supporting you as you work through your attachment issues, not stoking them or making you feel guilty about them.
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