Should we be texting all day?

Why texting constantly isn't always healthy. “Texting all day can be a sign of a codependent relationship,” warns Gordon, who adds that by engaging in it, you risk giving up your independence in the relationship. This can have repercussions, not only in the relationship itself, but when and if you break up.

elitedaily.com - Is Texting Your Partner All Day Healthy? An Expert Says You Might ...

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We all have that friend (or maybe you are that friend) who seems to spend any time they're away from their partner texting back and forth. Wherever they are, whatever they are doing, they're always in constant communication. On the one hand, being that invested in one another's lives could be a good thing. But, let's be honest: Constant texting can be stressful, and that amount of communication might not always be necessary. Is texting your partner all day healthy, or does having a break from chatting actually work to strengthen your relationship?

To answer that question, I reached out to Erica Gordon, dating expert, founder of The Babe Report, and author of Aren't You Glad You Read This?. She says such a high amount of texting isn't ideal in a relationship, but that the temptation to stay in contact with your partner all day can be powerful, especially early on. "It's unfortunately very common to text all day with your partner, especially in a new relationship," Gordon tells Elite Daily. "I say it's 'unfortunately' common because it's not a healthy habit, it's not a sustainable habit, and it makes you less independent and less productive in your day-to-day life." Here's how Gordon says over-texting can affect your relationship, and what to do about it. Why texting constantly isn’t always healthy. Cactus Creative Studio/Stocksy “Texting all day can be a sign of a codependent relationship,” warns Gordon, who adds that by engaging in it, you risk giving up your independence in the relationship. This can have repercussions, not only in the relationship itself, but when and if you break up. “Think about what happens to people who break up with someone who they were texting all day every day. Suddenly, their world feels so empty and quiet, because they're used to their phone blowing up all day. This can lead to much more extreme feelings of sadness and loneliness post breakup than you'd otherwise feel if you were not over-texting your partner while you were together,” she explains. “It can feel like withdrawal because the chemicals in the reward-center of the brain are activated during periods of constant receipt of text messages, and then deactivated when the relationship (and texting) ends.” How frequently should you text your SO? If texting all day isn’t healthy, then what amount of communication should you expect to have in your relationship? According to Gordon, texting at least four times a week is healthy, but every day is ideal. “It feels nice to wake up to a 'Good morning' text, and it's also nice when your partner sends you a sweet text to say good night before they go to sleep,” she says.

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Why do couples get tired of each other?

Feeling bored with one's partner often reflects a lack of focus on one's own life plan and personal growth. Sometimes it's just part of the natural process of moving through periods of distance and blame that are a part of coupling up.

psychologytoday.com - Why Do People Get Bored With Their Partner? - Psychology Today

Marriage is messy and complicated, especially when we share space with another person, tie our finances together, negotiate sexuality, and deal with countless other decisions that daily life demands, to say nothing of adding children or stepchildren to the picture. It's normal for couples to move in and out of boredom (or conflict, for that matter) at any point in a marriage, especially if they are looking to their partner to fill up their empty bucket or to be responsible for their happiness. Feeling bored with one's partner often reflects a lack of focus on one's own life plan and personal growth. Sometimes it's just part of the natural process of moving through periods of distance and blame that are a part of coupling up. The real problem arises when one or both people begin to catastrophize their boredom and cultivate an attitude of negativity. ("Perhaps I married the wrong person," "The love has gone out of our marriage." "We have nothing in common.") It's important to understand that even the best marriage will go through periods of too much distance and too much conflict. If you're not engaged in your own projects, friendships, and new learning, boredom is something your marriage will get stuck in. A marriage is never too stale to make it a whole lot better if you can muster up maturity, goodwill, and a genuine wish for a better relationship. If you're in a marriage now, no matter how stale, you can use it as a laboratory to engage in bold acts of change to enliven it.

Don't wait for your partner to change first.

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