Infatuation Rules
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Should I care how many people my partner has slept with?

When it comes to a person's sexual history, the amount of sexual partners they've had doesn't matter. It is important to maintain sexual health and to get tested, but it doesn't say anything about a person or how faithful They will be to you.

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It isn't unusual to want to know more about your girlfriend's past. Many people don't know the full story when it comes to their lover's past. Some people are more open about talking about their past relationships than others. Some prefer to leave the past in the past, and some like to embrace their past experiences. Sometimes learning about what your girlfriend was like in the past will make you uncomfortable, so it could wind up being detrimental to dig too deep. For instance, you might discover that your girlfriend has had far more lovers in the past than you. This information could shock you at first, and some men have a hard time getting over this revelation. If your girlfriend recently told you that she slept with a lot of different men in the past, would you be fine with it? What should you do if you learn about your girlfriend's sexual history and find out that certain things make you uncomfortable? Read on to examine this topic from different angles so that you can come to your conclusion.

How Many Lovers Is Too Many?

Not Sure What To Do About Your Girlfriend's Past? We Understand - Discuss How You're Feeling With A Licensed Relationship Counselor

Before moving forward, you might want to consider whether you might be overreacting to the number of lovers that your girlfriend has been with in the past. What seems like a large number to some people might appear to be perfectly normal to others. Some people only have one lover their entire life, and others might wind up sleeping with more than one-hundred people before all is said done. Can you really say "my girlfriend slept with too many guys in the past" if she has only had twenty lovers? Is that a high number, or is it simply normal or average for people in modern society?

Hearing that your girlfriend has had more than one-hundred lovers might make you feel a bit uneasy. It is possible to hear a number that will surprise you and make you think twice about things. It's normal to feel strange when hearing about your girlfriend's sexual history. You want to be able to feel like you matter to her, and learning that you're one of many might harm that perception. Just try to understand that you don't need to make her feel bad for having many lovers in the past. Should this matter to you?

You Want To Feel Special

The biggest problem with learning about your girlfriend's sexual past is that it can make you feel less special. Hearing that she has been with a large number of different men makes you feel as if you are just one of several relationships that she has experienced in her life. If her number of lovers is particularly high, then you might even wonder whether she will want to move on from you eventually. Does she have a high number of lovers because she gets bored with men and then moves on to the next one?

Thoughts like this aren't likely going to change anything. You might be worried at first and will then come to realize that she is the same girl that you fell in love with. Her past doesn't change who she has become today. Judging someone for their past exploits is wrong, and you have to understand that people can change. Your reaction to this information is mostly about processing your feelings. Jealousy and worrying about the situation are natural responses that will pass over time. Just try not to overreact to hearing that your girlfriend slept with many guys in the past.

Are You Worried That She Will Cheat On You?

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Some men might be worried about whether their girlfriends are going to cheat on them. If your girlfriend has slept with a lot of guys in the past, then will she be satisfied with just one person? Does her high number of past lovers indicate that she is very promiscuous? Are you one of the few people who has been in a committed monogamous relationship with her? Answering these questions isn't possible unless you discuss things with your girlfriend. Don't make unfair assumptions about your girlfriend just because she has slept with quite a few guys in the past. Having many lovers doesn't mean that she is a cheater. She just might not have pursued committed relationships when she was younger, and this might have changed as she started to mature. Unless she has given you a reason to think that she will stray from you, it's going to be appropriate to assume that she is the same loyal girlfriend that you have always known. Her number of past lovers doesn't suddenly change her character.

Are You Worried That You Won't Meet Her Sexual Needs?

You might even be concerned that you won't meet your girlfriend's sexual needs. Her high number of past lovers indicates that she has a lot of sexual experience. If you have only been with a few girls in the past, then you might be worried about whether you can meet her expectations in the bedroom. Men want to be able to feel like they can please their women. If you're worried about your performance or whether you stack up to her past experiences, then you'll have to be honest about those concerns. Your girlfriend will likely be very reassuring about everything, and you'll feel better after talking things over. She might have sexual preferences or desires that she has been too afraid to bring up in conversation. Exploring a little bit and being willing to learn can make you a better lover. Also, having a smaller number of sexual partners in the past doesn't make you an inadequate or lacking lover. Understand that everyone worries about whether they're doing good in bed. Desiring to please your girlfriend shows that you care and that you want to make sure she is happy. It's also true that her having many lovers in the past doesn't necessarily indicate that she is picky about sex. She might have just been a little more sexually liberated in the past, or she could have even had a problem with sex addiction. There are many factors to consider. Either way, your relationship with her is unique, and your sexual connection is different from other experiences that she has had in the past.

Potential Health Concerns

Some men might be worried about how many guys a girl has slept with for health reasons. Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are a real concern, and you might be worried about whether your girlfriend has ever had an STD. If you have been dating her for some time before learning about her sexual history, then you've likely already slept with her anyway. If she had health problems that you should be aware of, then you were likely already informed before you learned about how many men she has slept with. If you have concerns about her health, then you should try to bring the topic up in the most respectful way possible. This is a touchy subject, and you don't want to make your girlfriend feel like she is being disrespected. In all likelihood, everything is fine if you have never noticed any problems. You could get yourself tested to put your mind at ease as well. You're likely just a bit jealous after learning about her sexual history, and you'll eventually settle down about this topic.

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Not Sure What To Do About Your Girlfriend's Past? We Understand - Discuss How You're Feeling With A Licensed Relationship Counselor The only way to know if a girl has slept with a lot of guys in the past is to ask her. Oftentimes, a person will open up about their previous sexual experience to their current partner voluntarily. It tends to come up in conversation when you start talking about the physical intimacy in your relationship with each other one on one, especially if you are preparing to have sex with each other for the first time or are starting to explore new things. It's okay if one of you has more experience than the other. The important part is that you are able to put each other at ease and that you are fully accepting of each other. Sex requires someone of a learning process, and you can go through it together. Seeing a couples counselor, or even going to a sex therapist, is always an option. Especially if you have no other issues in your relationship but are interested in sexual exploration or have issues pertaining to sex to work through, seeing a sex therapist may be the best option.

The Past Can Stay In The Past

If you love your girlfriend, then it is likely best to let the past stay in the past. Hearing that she has slept with many guys in the past might put you off a bit. You have a right to feel however you want to about this information, but you shouldn't be rude about it either. Your girlfriend shared this information with you in good faith, and shaming her due to your feelings of concern or inadequacy would be a terrible response. It's going to be best to love her and to understand that those days are gone. Having many lovers in the past doesn't make someone a bad person. She might have been addicted to sex at one point, or she could have simply been experimenting with her sexuality. Many people make life choices when they are young that don't match up with how they feel as they get older. She has likely matured, and hopefully, you can be mature enough to move forward with her. Her sex life before she met you did help to mold her tastes and her overall experience. Even so, she chose to be with you for a reason, and her sexual escapades are not an indication that she will be disloyal or that she can't be a good girlfriend to you.

Relationship Counseling Can Make A Difference

Before you give up on your relationship, it might be a good idea to consider online relationship counseling. This is a great way to work through issues that are keeping you from gelling as a couple. They can discuss the things that are bothering you, and you can address your feelings in a safe way. Often, you'll find that you need to talk things out so that you can feel comfortable again. Counseling has the potential to bring you closer than ever as a couple so give it a shot if you are worried about your relationship.

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