Is true love powerful?

livescience.com - What Falling in Love Does to the Brain - Live Science

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Falling in love can wreak havoc on your body. Your heart races, your tummy gets tied up in knots, and you're on an emotional roller coaster, feeling deliriously happy one minute and anxious and desperate the next.

Research shows that these intense, romantic feelings come from the brain.

In one small study, researchers looked at magnetic resonance images of the brains of 10 women and seven men who claimed to be deeply in love. The length of their relationships ranged from one month to less than two years. Participants were shown photographs of their beloved, and photos of a similar-looking person. The brains of the smitten participants reacted to photos of their sweethearts, producing emotional responses in the same parts of the brain normally involved with motivation and reward. "Intense passionate love uses the same system in the brain that gets activated when a person is addicted to drugs," said study co-author Arthur Aron, a psychologist at the State University of New York at Stony Brook. In other words, you start to crave the person you're in love with like a drug.

Romantic love is a primitive response

Experts have said that romantic love is one of the most powerful emotions a person can have. Humans' brains have been wired to choose a mate, and we humans become motivated to win over that mate, sometimes going to extremes to get their attention and affection. "You can feel happy when you're in love, but you can also feel anxious," said Aron's co-author, Lucy Brown, a neuroscientist at Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York. "The other person becomes a goal in life," essentially, a prize. Brown said that the reward part of the brain, also dubbed the pleasure center, is an essential part of the brain needed to survive.

"It helps us recognize when something feels good," she said.

The drive to feel good around your intended mate may even be more powerful than the drive for sex, Brown said.

Intense romantic love could fade away

But once you've won over your love, does the feeling fade away?

Not completely, Aron said. In another study, he and his colleagues looked at MRI scans of 10 women and seven men who were married for an average of 21 years and claimed they were still intensively in love with their partners. The researchers found that in each of these long-term lovers, brain regions were also activated when they looked at photos of their partners. Long-term love showed activity in the regions linked with attachment and liking a reward. "For most people, the standard pattern is a gradual decline of passionate love, but a growth in bonding," Aron said. That bonding allows for the partners to stay together long enough to have and raise children.

"Most mammals don't raise children together, but humans do," he said.

But the brain studies did suggest that love changes over time, Aron said. "As long as love remains, we get used to the relationship, and we're not afraid our partner will leave us, so we're not as focused on the craving," he said. Pass it on: Brain, not the heart, plays a major role in falling in love. This story was provided by MyHealthNewsDaily, a sister site to LiveScience. Follow MyHealthNewsDaily on Twitter @MyHealth_MHND. Find us on Facebook.

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How do I make him feel special?

Be generous with your affection. Tell your special guy that you love him. Treat him to lots of hugs, kisses, and snuggling — whatever you know he likes. Remind him that he's the perfect one for you and that you couldn't ask for anyone better. If he knows you're being sincere, this will make him feel special.

wikihow.com - How to Make a Guy Feel Special: 11 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow

This article was co-authored by Elvina Lui, MFT . Elvina Lui is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in relationship counseling based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Elvina received her Masters in Counseling from Western Seminary in 2007 and trained under the Asian Family Institute in San Francisco and the New Life Community Services in Santa Cruz. She has over 13 years of counseling experience and is trained in the harm reduction model. This article has been viewed 438,018 times.

Article Summary

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To make a guy feel special, treat him to something he likes, such as cooking him his favorite meal or putting on music he likes. You could also show him affection by offering him hugs and kisses during a romantic evening. If you want to flirt with him, tease him about something or compliment his looks, which will show him you find him attractive. Alternatively, you can flirt by touching him on the shoulders or chest when you’re standing up. While you're having a conversation, maintain eye contact and smile, which will tell him that you enjoy being around him. For tips on how to support your guy when he feels down, keep reading!

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