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Is it normal to say hurtful things in a relationship?

Why do people say hurtful things to each other? Most often in relationships and marriages, hurtful things are said in frustration and anger. These are entirely normal feelings to have in long term relationships.

relationshiprescueacademy.com - 4 Steps to forgiving your spouse for saying hurtful things

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In a perfect world you would never have to forgive your partner for anything. However, the world is not perfect and sometimes we can hurt the ones we love and be hurt too. It is not always intentional but saying hurtful things can cause problems in a marriage. This article will discuss what is okay in a marriage, why people say hurtful things and what to do if you have been hurt.

When is it okay to say hurtful things?

Let’s first start off by saying that it is never okay to say hurtful things purely with the intention of causing distress to your partner. As human beings we are entitled to our own feelings and emotions and these can often be messy and unpredictable, that is just part of life. If you are hurt by something your partner has said, and it was not intended to cause harm, then this is what we classify as being ‘okay’ in relationships. This is normal and acceptable, it’s part of typical human interactions. In cases like this it should be pretty easy to talk to your partner, explaining to them why you are hurt, and to move on. Conversely, if your partner is saying things to purposely cause harm, this is not okay. It is never okay to intentionally hurt your spouse. Remember, verbal and emotional abuse are recognized forms of abuse. You should never class this as a ‘normal’ part of a relationship, as it is not healthy.

Why do people say hurtful things to each other?

Most often in relationships and marriages, hurtful things are said in frustration and anger. These are entirely normal feelings to have in long term relationships. You would be pretty unusual if you had never been angry with your other half. Sometimes, hurtful things can be said completely innocently, and the guilty party may not even have realized that they caused harm. This is often down to upbringing, past relationships and personalities. What is hurtful to one person might be funny to another. Due to this, it is important to tell your spouse when your feelings are hurt, so that these words can be nipped in the bud. Open and healthy communication is the best way to prevent hurt feelings and should, ideally, be part of any long-term relationship. It could be something as simple as you and your husband or wife communicating in different ways to each other and you would both benefit from getting on the same page.

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What does God mean by binding and loosing?

en.wikipedia.org - Binding and loosing - Wikipedia

Phrase from the Targum and New Testament

Binding and loosing is originally a Jewish Mishnaic phrase also mentioned in the New Testament, as well as in the Targum. In usage, to bind and to loose simply means to forbid by an indisputable authority and to permit by an indisputable authority.[1] One example of this is Isaiah 58:5–6 which relates proper fasting to loosing the chains of injustice.[2] The poseks had, by virtue of their ordination, the power of deciding disputes relating to Jewish law.[1] Hence, the difference between the two main schools of thought in early classical Judaism were summed up by the phrase the school of Shammai binds; the school of Hillel looses.[1] Theoretically, however, the authority of the poseks proceeded from the Sanhedrin, and there is therefore a Talmudic statement that there were three decisions made by the lower house of judgment (the Sanhedrin) to which the upper house of judgment (the heavenly one) gave its supreme sanction.[3] The claim that whatsoever [a disciple] bind[s] or loose[s] on earth shall be bound or loosed in heaven, which the Gospel of Matthew attributes to Jesus,[4] and is still used commonly today in prayer, an effective method on account to Christianity.[1] This is also the meaning of the phrase when it is applied in the text to Simon Peter and the other apostles in particular[1][5] when they are invested with the power to bind and loose by Christ. This also serves as the scriptural and traditional foundation for the Catholic Church's conception of papal authority, stemming from such an investiture of St. Peter, since, according to Catholic doctrine, the Popes are the Successors of St. Peter.[6][citation needed]

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