Is it normal to lose friends as you get older?

cxomedia.id - It's Not A Bad Thing To Lose Friends As You Get Older - CXO Media

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The older we get, the fewer friends we have. According to a recent study by experts from Aalto University in Finland and the University of Oxford in England, our social network shrinks after we reach our mid-20s. At this age, people start to figure out who are the most important and valuable in their lives, and they make a greater effort to keep those pals. People become more focused on certain connections and strive to retain them. As we grow older, we become busier at work and, for some, at raising a family. This cuts down on the amount of time we have to socialize. When we start focusing on the aforementioned priorities, the breadth of our friendship will automatically be determined. We'll invest more time with our closest friends and make time for those we'd want to meet and connect. Losing friends is not always a bad thing. It means that we are on the path of growth and it may change our social life for the better as well. Here are the reasons as to why changing friends can bring a positive impact on our life.

Get Rid of Toxic Friends

We realize that some friendships are no longer worth the effort. We've all had friends who managed to persuade us to do or say things we promised we'd never do again, such as binge drinking. Their chaotic lifestyle is causing us problems, and when we're with them, they always manage to drag us into it. Even if we genuinely care for them, we recognize that being with them is no longer enjoyable. As a result, we avoid them. That's a sensible decision because it could prevent us from doing something we'll later come to regret.

Build Deeper Friendships

We will place a greater emphasis on the qualities of our friendships when we have fewer friends. We can communicate with them more intensely and push our friendship to higher levels. We start to open up, share our joys and sorrows, struggles, as well as our hopes and plans for the future. Most importantly, we can be our true selves in front of them.

More Time to Work on Yourself

When we start working as an adult, we'll have to make some tough decisions about how we spend our nights and weekends. We start to create a balance between maintaining a good social life and working on our own self-development. With a smaller social network, it's easier to carve out time for ourselves, which may benefit our career, romantic relationships, and overall health. We get the ability to focus on accomplishing what we want and like, as well as achieving the goals we set for ourselves. Taking time for yourself is necessary so that we can think clearly without getting distracted and begin establishing priorities.

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exploresel.gse.harvard.edu - listening to others with understanding and empathy - Explore SEL

Highly effective people spend an inordinate amount of time and energy listening (Covey, 1989). Some psychologists believe that the ability to listen to another person, to empathize with, and to understand their point of view is one of the highest forms of intelligent behavior. Being able to paraphrase another person's ideas, detecting indicators (cues) of their feelings or emotional states in their oral and body language (empathy), accurately expressing another person's concepts, emotions and problems—all are indications of listening behavior (Piaget called it "overcoming ego-centrism"). They are able to see through the diverse perspectives of others. They gently attend to another person demonstrating their understanding of and empathy for an idea or feeling by paraphrasing it accurately, building upon it, clarifying it, or giving an example of it.

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