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Is it normal to feel nothing in a relationship?

glamour.com - Reader's Dilemma: ""Help! Sometimes I Feel Indifferent About My Boyfriend""

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Promotion

Today, a reader tells us how she sometimes gazes at her boyfriend and feels...nothing. Is that normal or problematic?

Here's our reader's question:

I've have been dating a guy since November. He's wonderful, honest, loyal, friendly, sweet, smart, caring...all the things a girl could ask for. And he's totally into me. I should feel lucky that this guy is mine and he loves me! Most of the time I do feel those "loving feelings." But sometimes, about one week per month (yikes), I look at him and don't feel anything. I'm not super emotional, but I do remember being very emotionally attached to my very first boyfriend. I'm 25 and couldn't ask for a better guy....but I feel bad that sometimes I look at him and feel indifferent. Ugh. What an awful word. Is this normal???

Here's my answer:

My darling, when you're in a long-term relationship, it's very normal to feel some periods of indifference for your partner. Love ebbs and flows; that's very natural. That said, these periods shouldn't be too frequent. Feeling indifferent for a week every month does sound like maybe more than you would like, especially since you've been dating less than a year. Maybe you should think hard about your current relationship. Even though he's a great guy, maybe he's missing something that you need to click with someone. As you know, falling in love isn't just about a list of character traits; there's also that indefinable je-ne-sais-quoi that makes you truly fall for someone. Consider taking a break from the relationship or having a long think about your feelings for him. After all, there are other great guys out there. You're so young and your whole life is ahead of you. You deserve to be with the love of your life--someone who makes you feel giddy and happy and over the moon, at least most of the time. Good luck!

Dear readers, what do you think? Do you ever go through periods of indifference in your relationships? How do you feel about that?

P.S. The official length of the honeymoon period. And more brave readers share their reader dilemmas, including "My fiance broke off our engagement--should I keep the ring?" and "I'm embarrassed by my boyfriend."