Infatuation Rules
Photo by Jannet Serhan Pexels Logo Photo: Jannet Serhan

Is it normal to feel neutral in a relationship?

My darling, when you're in a long-term relationship, it's very normal to feel some periods of indifference for your partner. Love ebbs and flows; that's very natural. That said, these periods shouldn't be too frequent.

How tall should a fully grown girl be?
How tall should a fully grown girl be?

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) , the mean, or average, age-adjusted height for adult women 20 years old and up...

Read More »
How to know if a girl is beautiful?
How to know if a girl is beautiful?

14 Signs That You're A Truly Beautiful Girl Your passion speaks louder than your looks. Your passion defines you more than your looks. ... You are...

Read More »

Today, a reader tells us how she sometimes gazes at her boyfriend and feels...nothing. Is that normal or problematic?

Here's our reader's question:

I've have been dating a guy since November. He's wonderful, honest, loyal, friendly, sweet, smart, caring...all the things a girl could ask for. And he's totally into me. I should feel lucky that this guy is mine and he loves me! Most of the time I do feel those "loving feelings." But sometimes, about one week per month (yikes), I look at him and don't feel anything. I'm not super emotional, but I do remember being very emotionally attached to my very first boyfriend. I'm 25 and couldn't ask for a better guy....but I feel bad that sometimes I look at him and feel indifferent. Ugh. What an awful word. Is this normal???

Here's my answer:

My darling, when you're in a long-term relationship, it's very normal to feel some periods of indifference for your partner. Love ebbs and flows; that's very natural. That said, these periods shouldn't be too frequent. Feeling indifferent for a week every month does sound like maybe more than you would like, especially since you've been dating less than a year. Maybe you should think hard about your current relationship. Even though he's a great guy, maybe he's missing something that you need to click with someone. As you know, falling in love isn't just about a list of character traits; there's also that indefinable je-ne-sais-quoi that makes you truly fall for someone. Consider taking a break from the relationship or having a long think about your feelings for him. After all, there are other great guys out there. You're so young and your whole life is ahead of you. You deserve to be with the love of your life--someone who makes you feel giddy and happy and over the moon, at least most of the time. Good luck!

Dear readers, what do you think? Do you ever go through periods of indifference in your relationships? How do you feel about that?

P.S. The official length of the honeymoon period. And more brave readers share their reader dilemmas, including "My fiance broke off our engagement--should I keep the ring?" and "I'm embarrassed by my boyfriend."

What to do when your husband invalidates your feelings?
What to do when your husband invalidates your feelings?

Emotional invalidation can be quite difficult to handle. You may be full of self doubt, struggling to believe your own emotions, feeling angry,...

Read More »
Which hair length is most attractive?
Which hair length is most attractive?

One of the most popular hair chart length options is definitely the shoulder length (12 inch). The main reason why so many women prefer the type is...

Read More »

How do you fix a downhill relationship?

For couples who mutually want to try to work things out and ultimately stay together if possible, here's how to save your relationship: Don't make any rash decisions. Get brutally honest. Seek therapy. Understand how you're contributing to the problem. Focus on healing yourself. Recognize your partner's pain. More items...

This is separate from just recognizing your own contribution to your relationship's troubled waters. This is about recognizing the inner work you have left to do on yourself. "Many people who leave are no happier than they were in the relationship," Paul says. "If you have been making your partner responsible for your feelings and you are blaming your partner for your unhappiness, then it likely isn't time to leave. You have your own inner work to do." Oftentimes, many of the problems that emerge in our lives are directly related to underlying mental or emotional struggles we ourselves have been dealing with all along, Paul says: "If you ignore your feelings, judge yourself, turn to various addictions to numb your feelings, or make your partner responsible for your feelings of worth and safety, then you are rejecting and abandoning yourself, and you have inner work to do to learn to love yourself. People tend to treat us the way we treat ourselves, so focus on how you are treating yourself rather than how your partner is treating you."

During this trying time, you need to love yourself now more than ever. What can you do to manifest more self-love right now?

RELATED: A 6-Step Process To Actually Learn To Love Yourself

What does P mean on a survey?
What does P mean on a survey?

Glossary of Land Survey Terms | P: Parol Evidence to Public Lands.

Read More »
What keeps a man happy in a relationship?
What keeps a man happy in a relationship?

Clear communication, openness to new experiences, and respect for your partner are key if you want to build a lasting, loving relationship. 1. Make...

Read More »
How do you fix a dull relationship?
How do you fix a dull relationship?

Ideas To Spruce Things Up Have a “day/night out” every week. Be creative and decorate a room together. Prepare a nice dinner at home. Make a gift...

Read More »
Do guys like short or long hair?
Do guys like short or long hair?

Research has always shown that males prefer long hair on women. In one study, pictures of women were shown with a range of hair lengths from short...

Read More »