Is it normal to constantly have doubts in a relationship?

If you're questioning your bond with your partner, you're not alone. It's normal to have doubts about your relationship at times. After all, relationships are hard and no one is perfect. Some degree of uncertainty can be good.

therapyforadults.com - Why You're Feeling Unsure About Your Relationship - Therapy for Adults

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There can be many different reasons why you might be feeling uncertain about the dynamic between you and your partner. Here are some things to consider.

You Lack Trust With Your Partner

Trust is a foundational element of any relationship. Without trust, it is difficult--if not impossible--to have a functional, healthy relationship. Has your partner broken your trust in some way? Your mind may jump immediately to infidelity when you hear this question. While that is certainly a breach of trust, it is not the only way that trust can be negatively affected. Maybe you have been unable to rely on them to show up for you physically or emotionally, or maybe they cannot be honest about their feelings. Trust is wrapped up in all of these issues, and more. On the other hand, have you been keeping your partner at a distance? Putting up a wall around your heart does not allow your partner into your emotional world, making it challenging to build trust. If you don’t trust your partner--either because of their actions, your own, or both--it makes sense that you’d feel unsure about your relationship.

You Have Trouble Communicating

It makes sense to have doubts about your relationship if you feel like you can’t talk to your partner. Like trust, communication is a fundamental part of a healthy relationship. Both people in a relationship should be able to go to each other with thoughts, feelings, and concerns. It’s important to feel supported by your partner. It’s also important to be able to talk about issues with your partner so that they can be worked through. Without communication, these things can build up and lead to resentment. This may be where some of your uncertainty about your relationship is coming from. Keep in mind that no one is born with perfect communication strategies--they can be learned, if you and your partner are willing to practice.

You Need To Get To Know Them (And Yourself) Better

There’s a reason why we refer to the beginning of a relationship as the honeymoon period. When you’re just starting out with a new partner, it can be easy to get wrapped up in all of the great things about them. The excitement of a new beginning and hope for the future can feel amazing. However, your heart may be taking the lead over your head. Your judgement and reason can be clouded by infatuation for your new partner.

When that starts to fade, you may be left feeling uncertain about the relationship. They’re no longer this “perfect” person you thought they were--so does that mean the relationship is doomed?

Not necessarily. You may just need more time to get to know them in order to get a feel for what they’re really like. You may also need more time to reflect on what exactly you want in a relationship, and whether this person can fulfill that role.

You Have Different Lifestyles

Being similar to your partner is not a requirement of a healthy, happy relationship. In fact, many couples have different personalities, interests, and ways of thinking. However, if you and your partner are on completely different pages with most things, it can be difficult to foster a strong bond with them. It’s important to weigh your differences to consider how they may impact your relationship in the long run. For instance, do they love partying while you prefer to stay away from substances? Do they feel strongly about starting a family? These types of differences can cause significant strain in a relationship as they represent completely different lifestyles.

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Do I like him or do I just feel lonely?

Another way to determine your true feelings is to get some space from the person and spend your time doing other things like hanging out with friends, pursuing your hobbies, or volunteering. If you don't find yourself missing the person when you're busy with these other things, then you may have just been a bit lonely.

wikihow.com - 3 Ways to Know if You Like Someone or if You're Just Lonely - wikiHow

This article was co-authored by Erika Kaplan . Erika Kaplan is a Dating Coach and Matchmaker for Three Day Rule, an exclusive matchmaking company across nine cities in the United States. With over six years of experience, Erika specializes in helping singles find quality matches through date coaching and premium matchmaking services. Erika graduated from Penn State with a Bachelor’s degree in Public Relations. She worked for Rolling Stone, Us Weekly, and Men’s Journal before leaving publishing to pursue her passion for connecting people. Erika has been featured on Lifetime, the Philadelphia Inquirer, and CBS as well as in Thrillist, Elite Daily, Men’s Health, Fast Company, and Refinery29. This article has been viewed 1,505,475 times.

Article Summary

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Sometimes it can be hard to figure out whether you actually like someone or if you’re just feeling a little lonely. To try to tell the difference, see if you’re attracted to them by observing whether you think about them all the time and whether you’re excited to get to know them more. If you don’t feel these things, then you might not actually like that person. Another way to determine your true feelings is to get some space from the person and spend your time doing other things like hanging out with friends, pursuing your hobbies, or volunteering. If you don’t find yourself missing the person when you’re busy with these other things, then you may have just been a bit lonely. For more advice from our Relationship co-author, including how to avoid a rebound relationship, read on!

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