Is it normal for my boyfriend to only want to see me once a week?

Because of this, it is totally normal to not want to spend all of your time together. He will only see you once a week, maybe twice, in the beginning, to test the waters.

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When you start dating someone new, there is a bit of a drive to see them often. You want to get to know them more and you want to start building the foundation of a possible relationship going forward. Often, this honeymoon phase is one of the most exciting parts of a relationship, and everything is exciting, perfect, and rosy!

What happens though when a man only wants to see you once a week? Is this cause for concern? Or are you being the one that is demanding too much attention?

It can be really difficult to work out what is normal, and what is not (not that any one relationship is the same!) However, there are some red flags to look for which might show that your relationship isn’t actually heading anywhere. Keep reading to find out why he might only want to see you once a week, and if there is any reason to worry….

Is Your Relationship New?

Before you start to worry that your relationship is doomed because he only wants to see you once a week, take a step back… Some people jump headfirst into new relationships, and while on the odd chance this works out, often it doesn’t. He might be acting cautious with the new relationship in the beginning, and not want to dive into a full-blown relationship right away. This might leave you feeling as though you are a bit lost on where the relationship is going, but it can actually be a good thing.

If the two of you have just started dating, or even before you become committed, how much do you actually know about each other?

It is likely that there is still so much for the both of you to learn, and that you just don’t know each other that well just yet. Because of this, it is totally normal to not want to spend all of your time together. He will only see you once a week, maybe twice, in the beginning, to test the waters. It allows both of you to get to know each other better, without the pressure of seeing each other so often and almost feeling ‘forced’ to like each other. By taking it slow and only getting together once a week, you can gradually get to know each other without pressure, and this will help give you a clear indication of whether or not you would be suited to date, or whether you actually like the other person you are dating!

Possible Reasons Why He Only Wants To See You Once A Week

If your relationship has been going on for a few months and he still only wants to see you once a week, it can be both frustrating and confusing! Before you decide that he is not interested in you and taking the relationship any further, you need to think about why he might only want to see you once a week. Before deciding on the worst-case scenario, here are some real-life reasons why you aren’t spending every second together.

He Works

One of the main reasons why he might not be able to spend more time with you during the week is because he is busy working. Mature relationships come with mature responsibilities, and his job might be very demanding. At the end of the day, he might be exhausted and the last thing he feels like doing is driving to come to see you, or going out to dinner. This is a completely normal and valid reason why he isn’t able to see you more often, he can’t start cutting down on work responsibilities to spend more time with you, especially if the relationship is still new, and it isn’t fair to expect him to do this! However, you also have a choice. You need to decide if you are happy being in a relationship with someone who is always so busy at work, or if you would prefer to date someone who has more of a flexible schedule and who is able to see you more during the week.

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He Lives Far

You are not always going to be able to date someone who lives just down the road, and distance might be a big factor in your relationship. Even an hour trip away, or being in the neighboring city, can be a taxing trip, and one that made more than once a week becomes undoable. With work, studies, or other general responsibilities and home, he might genuinely not have the time to spend on the road traveling to come to see you during the week, and this is something that you need to understand. He might really want to spend more time with you, and you with him, but the traveling does become a bit much. Long distant relationships come with their own rules and emotions, and you need to decide if that is the type of relationship you want to be in. If the two of you are serious about continuing your relationship, even with the distance, you will have to find stuff to fill up your week with, to keep you distracted and busy while the two of you are apart. You will just have to make the most of the time you have together when you do see each other during the week! Some people really enjoy their own space and spend most of their time in their own company. Introverts feel that they need time on their own to recharge and to re-center before spending time with other people again. Your boyfriend might absolutely adore you and love the time that you do spend together, but still feels that he needs time on his own. Because of this, he might only end up seeing you once a week. This could be on a Friday night and staying over Saturday, but then he needs Sunday on his own to recharge. Before taking things further or even moving in together, this can be quite healthy, as it almost forces the both of you to spend time on your own and have your own life. Once again, you will need to decide if this is the type of relationship you want or not!

You Aren’t A Priority

Oh, this one stings. But it’s the truth. And you know we don’t sugarcoat things around here. If you aren’t a priority in his life, he won’t go out of his way. He’ll do the absolute bare minimum to keep you interested but not give an inch more. If you aren’t a priority in his life, you can just stop reading this article right here and now, grab your phone, and delete his number.

Move on with your life.

Remember to go where you’re celebrated, not just tolerated.

I did ask in the beginning if the relationship is new because that’s a very important caveat. If the relationship is new, let’s say, less than two months, then I think it’s perfectly fine that you aren’t a priority in his life. He just met you and there isn’t a deep connection yet. But if you two have been dating for more than two months and he sees you once a week (if that), it’s time to pack your picnic basket and find a new park.

What To Do If He Only Wants To See Me Once A Week?

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If you are concerned that your boyfriend does not want to see you more often during the week, and if you feel like your relationship is not moving anywhere, here is what you could do:

Talk To Him

The first thing you should do is talk to him. Instead of letting it go and feeling as though your relationship isn’t going anywhere, it is best to hear what he has to say. Sit down and talk to him about how you feel. Maybe he hasn’t realized how it is making you feel, or maybe he will continue to give you breadcrumby answers. If this is the case, it is better to find out earlier than to be stuck in a relationship that isn’t going anywhere. He might even make more effort going forward – but none of this will happen unless you talk to him! Please note: I only suggest you talk to him if (and only if!) you’ve been dating for awhile. Do not be asking men you’ve gone on three dates with why they aren’t seeing you more.

Initiate Plans

Maybe you have been leaving the planning up to him, and he only comes up with one plan a week because he doesn’t want to seem too overbearing. You could take the initiative to make plans for the both of you, and see how he reacts. If he happily participates in your plans, then it is a good sign to make plans going forward and to share this responsibility! If he finds just about any excuse to not go out with you, then it is a bit of a red flag. The relationship should be equal and the both of you should be able to decide what you do and how you spend your time together, and if he doesn’t meet you halfway, he might not be the one!

Put Yourself First

If you think that he isn’t paying you enough attention and spending enough time with you, you need to put yourself first and consider if this is actually the type of relationship that you want. For when there is no real excuse to not see you more often, such as work or distance, you deserve someone who dedicates more time to you and who won’t take you for granted!

When A Man Only Wants To See You Once A Week

A new relationship is fun and exciting, but it might also see him only wanting to see you once a week. The two of you don’t know each other that well yet, and spending only a day or so together each week gives you both the chance to get to know each other with little pressure, to see whether you want to take the relationship further or not. If the relationship is a good few months old and he still only sees you once a week, you should sit down with him and talk about why this happens, and decide whether it is the type of relationship you want!

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