Infatuation Rules
Infatuation Rules
Photo: Marcus Aurelius
Sometimes, one or both partners are busy or tired or just don't feel like talking, and that's completely OK. A healthy, long-term relationship will have its fair share of comfortable silences. It's typically a good sign if you and your SO can enjoy each other's company without even saying a word.
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Read More »Sure, you’ve been talking for basically your entire life, but that doesn’t mean it’s always easy. Communicating with your partner can be hard no matter your age or how long you’ve been dating, and silence is one of the most misinterpreted forms of interaction. There’s a reason that people look up things like “silence quotes” and, “what it means if they don’t text you back”; it’s not uncommon for people to be unsure how to interpret silence from their partner. Silence in a relationship is often perceived as a red flag, but it isn't necessarily a bad thing. It happens. Just because you are with your partner doesn't mean you need to be talking 24/7. Sometimes, one or both partners are busy or tired or just don't feel like talking, and that's completely OK. A healthy, long-term relationship will have its fair share of comfortable silences. It’s typically a good sign if you and your SO can enjoy each other's company without even saying a word. That being said, you don’t want a completely silent relationship, and some types of silence can signal deeper issues. Below are four types of silence that often signal a deeper issue. Before digging in, remember that just because you experience one (or more) of these quiet lulls doesn't necessarily mean your relationship is going to suffer — but it's worth opening up to your partner about what the silence really means.
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Read More »Having occasional lulls in conversation is very different from having nothing to say to each other. For example, if you meet up after class or work, sit down to dinner, and find you have nothing to talk about, it can be a sign that you’ve lost your spark. That might sound pretty bad, but, before you freak out, this type of silence does not mean your romance is doomed to fail. It’s actually pretty standard, but it is a signal that you’ll need to start putting more effort into your relationship if you want it to last. “It's normal,” relationship coach Laurel House explained to Brides. “Your lives are melding and so are your interests, activities, and stories. Just because you aren't jumping from one topic to the next and you are no longer staying up all night talking because you have so much you want to say, doesn't mean that the relationship has gone stale. Your conversations need to shift from fresh to in depth.” If you can’t make that shift, however, it could mean a difficult future together. Pricilla Martinez, a life coach at Blush Online Life Coaching, previously told Elite Daily that "communication is key to any relationship in order to ensure both partners are moving in the same direction in terms of commitment." Without being able to talk about the deeper stuff, it can be really hard to keep a romantic relationship strong, happy, and healthy — and you shouldn’t settle for any less.
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Read More »It’s true that some people are more responsive texters than others. And although you’re not responsible to anyone for being reachable at all times, a certain level of communication with your partner via text is expected, though it's totally normal if you're not able to keep bantering over text while you're at work, studying in the library, working out, or otherwise occupied. Ahead of those times, you might even shoot off a quick text that says, "Hey, I won’t be able to reply for the next few hours, but I'll respond to your messages when I'm free." Easy enough. However, if you get an incoming text from your partner and simply have no desire to write back, that type of silence could be more meaningful than a packed schedule — mostly because it signifies a lack of effort on your part. “Relationships take a lot of work on the part of both parties. A key to a successful long-term relationship is that both partners are motivated to put the necessary time and energy into the partnership to keep it going,” Ronald E. Riggio, PhD, professor of psychology at Claremont McKenna College, wrote for Psychology Today. “They look for ways to keep the love flame burning. If one or both partners has stopped trying, that’s a very bad sign.” That doesn’t necessarily mean you need to change all of your texting habits, but try to take notes of moments when you no longer feel connected to your SO — and, more importantly, the times when you no longer want to feel connected to them. That silence may mean you need to take a step back from the relationship. Silence is the most misunderstood and misinterpreted type of human interaction, and it often leads to people feeling hurt or rejected. But not all silence is bad. The key in distinguishing between healthy and unhealthy silence in a relationship is communication. Letting your partner know you need some quiet time alone before going AWOL can eliminate the unnecessary stress and confusion that often accompanies silence. When you take the guesswork out of silence, it’s easier for both of you to understand, accept, and even enjoy.
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