Infatuation Rules
Infatuation Rules
Photo: Gustavo Fring
When you first meet someone it's tempting to see them all the time, but an expert says you should only see each other twice a week. A psychiatrist claims that spending time apart helps our subconscious work out if there are any problems or issues with our new love interest.
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Read More »When you first meet someone it's tempting to see them all the time, but an expert says you should only see each other twice a week. A psychiatrist claims that spending time apart helps our subconscious work out if there are any problems or issues with our new love interest. Although seeing a potential suitor may intensify your feelings, you also risk experiencing emotions too soon which could cloud your judgement in the long run. When you first meet someone you might want to spend every moment with them but new research suggests new couples should only see each other twice a week (stock image) NEW RELATIONSHIPS A psychiatrist has warned that spending time apart helps our subconscious work out if there are any problems or issues with our new love interest, according to Scott Carroll, psychiatrist and author of Don't Settle: How to Marry the Man You Were Meant For. Although seeing a potential suitor may intensify your feelings, you also risk experiencing emotions too soon which could cloud your judgement. Spending too much time together early on could also make someone panic and break things off prematurely. Clinical psychologist Dr Seth Meyers, who has a PhD from Yeshiva University, also highlights the importance of not rushing things at the beginning. Dr Meyer warns the main reason couples shouldn't spend too much time together is because it makes them more likely to be physically and sexually intimate early on. This forges the 'illusion of intimacy and dependence' - even though it can take months — or even years — to truly get to know someone. Advertisement 'It's important to stick to twice a week only so that you have plenty of time away from your new date to give your deepest feelings time to percolate up from your subconscious,' said Scott Carroll, psychiatrist and author of Don't Settle: How to Marry the Man You Were Meant For. 'These deep feeling are important because they will help you see any issues or problems with your new love interest', he told Bravo TV. Spending too much time together early on could also make someone panic and break things off prematurely.
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Read More »'This is a common problem where one person gets too excited about the new relationship and rushes forward ruining a perfectly good relationship that had lots of potential,' said Dr Carroll, who works at the University of New Mexico Children's Hospital. Clinical psychologist Dr Seth Meyers, who has a PhD from Yeshiva University, also highlights the importance of not rushing things at the beginning. Writing in Psychology Today he explains that the best way to protect a new relationship is to use caution, and not see each other too frequently. 'When you encounter a new potential friend, for example, you probably don't rush to see that friend several times per week after you first meet. Why should the guidelines for starting a romantic relationship be so different?' he said. Dr Meyer warns the main reason couples shouldn't spend too much time together is because it makes them more likely to be physically and sexually intimate early on. This forges the 'illusion of intimacy and dependence' - even though it can take months — or even years — to truly get to know someone. Dr Meyer warns the main reason couples shouldn't spend too much time together is because it makes them more likely to be physically and sexually intimate early on (stock image) Although there is nothing wrong with physical or sexual intimacy it should be done in a trusting environment. 'If you don't really know the person eliciting those intense emotional reactions, you may put yourself at risk, Dr Meyers warned. 'If the person is kind and good and wants the same things as you, there is no problem; if the person doesn't have the same relationship goals as you, you may end up feeling lonely and betrayed.' Dr Meyer advises seeing someone once a week for the first month and then gradually increasing it after that.
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