Is he cheating or am I paranoid?

The suspicion that occurs from a sudden shift in your partner's behavior is not the same as paranoia. If your partner feels distant or there has been a significant change in their actions, this shift can be concerning. People who are cheating will sometimes become defensive or pull away from their partners.

betterhelp.com - Are They Cheating Or Am I Paranoid: Signs He Might Be A Cheater

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Is your partner or boyfriend cheating? Are you starting to feel paranoid that there are warning signs they may be having an affair? Perhaps their behavior has been a bit unusual lately, and you don’t feel like you’re as close. These feelings could be signs that something is amiss. It’s also possible that these signs might be that you are experiencing some relationship-related anxiety, and your partner is being faithful. It can be difficult to determine the truth, but you need to know for sure. This article will discover some tools you can use to determine the signs and answers to both these questions about whether your partner cheated on you. You Deserve A Fulfilling And Lasting Relationship Work Through Your Thoughts And Feelings With A Professional

Is My Partner Cheating? Approach the Situation Pragmatically

“Are they cheating, or am I paranoid?” are two different questions. It’s best to look at these questions individually. The first question (are they cheating?) is about their behavior. The second question (Am I paranoid?) is a mental health issue you can deal with on your own. Though it’s natural to feel insecure in your relationship from time to time, it’s important to understand where the root cause lies. In relationships, there are many reasons for couples to fight or get insecure, but being honest with each other and getting the chance for an explanation (not giving excuses) is the best way to respect one another's energy and time.

The Difference Between Paranoia and Suspicion

Intense anxiety and fear are symptoms of paranoia. For people who experience this, it may be overwhelming at times to cope with their thought patterns, and it may a number of reasons-- doubt, texts, money, kids, privacy, finances, or the possibility of another person's scent leading to belief of infidelity. Though most people experience anxious thoughts from time to time, paranoia can cause persistent intrusive thoughts that may feel impossible to combat. It can also affect a person’s behavior and the way that they react in stressful situations. People who struggle with paranoia will sometimes become aggressive or hostile, have difficulty trusting their partners, and find it difficult to navigate through their emotions. The suspicion that occurs from a sudden shift in your partner’s behavior is not the same as paranoia. If your partner feels distant or there has been a significant change in their actions, this shift can be concerning. People who are cheating will sometimes become defensive or pull away from their partners. They might start having a new name of a woman pop up on their phone, giving an excuse for why they are spending more time at their job, have some new routines, or it may just be your instincts telling you that the facts aren't lining up. However, it’s important to communicate to your partner how you feel because this could result from many factors. A shift in relationship dynamics isn’t always the result of someone being unfaithful. It requires effort in order to be filled in on each other's lives, separate from the world or the news we see constantly through technology. As individuals we tend to tell ourselves stories, and then look for any clues that reinforce these narratives. It is a gift to be able to actually sit down and openly communicate with your partner, and if you find somewhere private to do so, you can have this talk with no one else around.

Common Signs Of Unfaithfulness

But what if it is not paranoia? What if it really does look like he is cheating on you? How can you tell for sure? The best thing to do is have a calm discussion with your partner about your concerns. This gives him an opportunity to be honest. He may be feeling guilty and confess to being unfaithful. Or he may be able to show proof that he is still true to you. Whether it is due to new activities he is taking on, hair from a girl or guys found around the house, new places he is sneaking off to, or he simply won't hold your hand anymore, it's important to get the answers you are seeking. However, a cheating spouse may not always be honest. If that’s the case, you should trust your gut feeling but still keep an eye out for some warning signs. Below are some common signs of unfaithfulness. He suddenly cares a lot more about their appearance than usual. For example, he may groom himself more before leaving the house or purchase new clothes often. Another obvious sign is that he becomes possessive of his phone and carries it around everywhere with him, including the bathroom. It could indicate that he does not want you accidentally reading his messages. There are charges on your bank account or credit card that seem suspicious. For example, you may see charges at expensive restaurants, florists, or even for dating sites. There are significant changes in his interests and hobbies. For example, he may have lost interest in the hobbies you used to or he may try new hobbies or develop new musical tastes. Your sex life has been dull or nonexistent lately, and he doesn’t seem interested in spicing it back up.

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He is showing sudden, unexplainable mood swings. For example, he may be more distant and cold towards you and may be very defensive or mean when talking with you. Another red flag is that he doesn’t seem interested in sleeping in the same bed as you. He may choose to sleep on the couch more often, or may not even come home at night. This is a big warning sign that he is either cheating or has completely lost interest in the relationship. Now, keep in mind that many of these signs are not sure proof that your husband or boyfriend cheated. Some signs could indicate the development of a mental health condition or just dealing with other life challenges and stressors. That’s why it’s important to have a conversation first before outright accusing your spouse of cheating. But you know your own relationship better than anyone. Therefore, you should trust your intuition as well. You should also discuss your concerns with an individual therapist or even a marriage or family therapist. They may be able to better discern the warning signs as they are a more neutral observer. They can also provide relationship advice to improve the relationship (if it doesn’t seem like your partner is cheating) or can guide you through the process of discovering his cheating ways and deciding how you want to move forward.

But What If It’s Not Cheating, Just Paranoia?

Sometimes, it’s not easy to tell if your partner is cheating or if you're just paranoid. The next couple of sections will help you discern whether or not you are experiencing paranoia.

Do You Mistrust Him Even When He Shows No Signs He Has Been Unfaithful?

If you’re worried that your partner may be cheating, you may start scrutinizing his actions more intensely. It can start with simply questioning whether they’re being honest with you and escalate to you feeling the need to look through their private emails, text messages, or social media accounts in hopes of finding something problematic. Though it’s not a good feeling to be worried that your partner is being dishonest with you, these behaviors can become obsessive and problematic for your mental health. These actions can also cause tension in your relationship. Your partner may struggle to understand why you can’t trust them, and it may be difficult to find the right way to ease your concerns. Some people who deal with an anxious attachment style may find that they fear abandonment in their relationship, even where there is seemingly nothing wrong. They may become suspicious when they aren’t with their partner and want to know where they are at all times. If your partner hasn’t shown any clear physical signs that they’re cheating, it may be a good time to ask yourself why you don’t feel like you can trust them. Are there ways that they could help you feel more secure? How does talking about these feelings with your partner make you feel? You may want to consider working through these emotions with a relationship coach (such as those found at Relationship Hero) or marriage and family therapist to help decipher where the suspicion stems from.

What Proof Would He Need To Provide To Satisfy You?

Think for a moment about what kind of proof you need to stop feeling betrayed. Would anything prove it to you? It can be challenging to communicate exactly what we need from our partner a lot of the time. By taking the time to reflect on what would make you feel safer in the relationship, you can approach your partner compassionately. For some people, this may be asking for solid quality time together without distractions. Others may need to hear certain words of affirmation to feel more comfortable with the situation. If your partner is unwilling to have these conversations with you or reacts angrily or aggressively when you bring up your concerns, it may be time to think about if it’s possible for you to feel secure with them. It’s also important to note that if there is a history of trust issues within a relationship, whether due to cheating or otherwise, it can take some time and patience to recover that. By working as a team with your partner, you can find ways to combat your intrusive thoughts together. Your willingness to find solutions together can make your relationship stronger than ever. Though frequent paranoia is a mental health issue that should be worked through with a mental health professional, some ways have been proven to combat the negative thought patterns associated with it.

Taking Care of Yourself Is Important

There are a few practical steps you can take to fight paranoia. Perhaps the best is eating a healthy and balanced diet. You might also want to limit your caffeine intake since that has led to an increase in paranoia for some people. Getting a good night’s rest is also imperative. Try to get around seven or eight hours of sleep per night. If you’re depriving yourself of sleep, then your paranoia is likely to worsen over time. Be sure to get to bed at a reasonable time to don’t disrupt your normal routine.

Staying Busy: Regardless of What He Is Doing

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When people’s emotions feel big and uncomfortable, it can be overwhelming. Sometimes this causes people to feel less productive because they feel distracted by their thoughts. As much as possible, try not to let paranoia take over your day-to-day life. Doing things that you enjoy can help you keep your mind busy and help you enjoy other aspects of life outside of your relationship. For some people, this may be cooking a nice meal or going for a walk. For others, this could be writing in their journal or taking a long warm bath. Whatever it is that helps you feel calm and comfortable, doing so in moments where you feel anxious or paranoid can allow you to calm your nervous system.

Seeking Out Support

One of the greatest difficulties for people who deal with paranoia is its strain on their relationship and their partner. Seeking out support from loved ones and a therapist can help you vocalize your fears without your partner feeling that they’re being accused. By working through your emotions effectively, you can find ways to work through your paranoia over time. Therapists can give you tools to work through unhelpful thoughts and emotions as they occur and be proactive in preventing any emotional outbursts. Your emotional health and wellbeing are important, and by prioritizing them in your life, you can move forward healthily. BetterHelp has online counselors that you can speak to from the comfort of your home. Read some popular reviews below.

Therapist Reviews

“Within just a few sessions with Monica, I was in a much better place emotionally, mentally, and had renewed hope. After a strong rift with my husband, I needed a compassionate ear that wasn’t my friends or family. She listened, gave me good feedback, and assigned helpful habits. So far, everything she suggested has been working well. Thanks to her, I’ve made great progress, and I’m excited to continue until I’m back to me. I’m so glad and thankful to better help for providing therapy at a price I could afford but having sessions from home, which has been important for me since all of this, has made me paranoid about seeking help. I know I have more work to do, but with Monica and BetterHelp, I’m more hopeful now than I have been in about two years. That’s priceless to me.” “I’ve only had two sessions with Linda but have learned a lot about my relationship with my husband, and she has given me a lot of food for thought and different ways to look at the situation as well as ideas on communication. She has been very helpful!”

Conclusion

If you feel your partner is cheating and are seeing many signs, it can be painful to deal with. Remember, saying that someone your boyfriend is cheating is not a light statement. Most cheating people won’t admit to it even when questioned, and having proof or signs of cheating on a phone can be hurtful. By communicating your fears with your partner, you can better understand whether or not you feel that your trust can be re-established after signs that they are cheating. Have you cheated or been cheated on? It's normal to feel lost and not know how to move forward. No matter what, you can move forward from a cheated relationship to a fulfilling one with therapy. Take the first step with BetterHelp. Therapy is a personal experience, and not everyone will go into it seeking the same things. But, keeping these nine things in mind can ensure that you will get the most out of online therapy, regardless of your specific goals. If you’re still wondering if therapy is right for you and how much therapy costs, please contact us at contact@betterhelp.com. BetterHelp specializes in online therapy to help address all types of mental health concerns. If you’re interested in individual therapy, please reach out to contact@betterhelp.com. Concerned he may be cheating? Therapy can help. Especially if you see signs on his phone, and know that these signs can only mean that he is cheating and being unfaithful, talk to a trusted source to help you navigate all of the emotions that come with heartbreak.