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Is dating for 6 months too soon to get engaged?

“It's best to wait until at least 3-6 months to see if the feelings you have are for real or just a fading spark of lust. You need to have emotional and rational feelings towards one another.” However, award-winning relationship expert Sarah Louise Ryan said that it's never too soon.

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I n May last year, Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson announced their engagement after just weeks of dating. While the ‘thank u, next’ singer and the Saturday Night Live cast member subsequently split in October, their frenzied love affair sparked a conversation around relationship timelines and if it's ever 'too soon' to get engaged. According to Shilpa Gandhi, as long as your core beliefs align a quick engagement doesn't equal a doomed relationship. Yet the certified matchmaker and director of Amare Exclusive, said that before deciding to get engaged, you should have talked at length about your future and taken age, career stage and financial stability into consideration. Shilpa told the Standard: “In the first couple of months it may be too soon [to get engaged] as the feelings you have for one another may be lust as opposed to love. “It’s best to wait until at least 3-6 months to see if the feelings you have are for real or just a fading spark of lust. You need to have emotional and rational feelings towards one another.” However, award-winning relationship expert Sarah Louise Ryan said that it’s never too soon. “When it feels right and a couple know they don’t want to spend their lives with anyone else that’s when engagement should be on the cards, if marriage is what they want, of course. It’s about choosing each other and committing. “When you know, you know. It doesn’t matter the length that you’ve loved, it’s about the depth in which you love. If you have met the person you connect with deeply and can communicate fully with – it’s never too soon.”

Is it ever 'too soon' to get engaged? / Unsplash

Relationship expert, Ben Edwards added: “The world is changing. A few generations ago, there was a set expectation for men, and particularly women, of a certain age to meet their partners young, marry, start a family and ultimately stay together for the rest of their life. “Now that there are other options available to couples and less limitations, social ‘norms’ are being challenged. I don’t believe there is a set time to wait; some couples will get engaged after knowing each other for three months, others three years. Quite often circumstances will mean it seems like the sensible option to marry, whether this be financial or otherwise, this may mean the decision is made sooner than expected." Regal rocks: the best royal engagement rings 1 /8 Regal rocks: the best royal engagement rings Camilla Parker Bowles, 2005 The ring was originally given to the Queen Mother upon the birth of her first child, Princess Elizabeth. AFP/Getty Images Meghan Markle, 2017 Designed by Prince Harry and custom made by court jewelers Cleave and Company using a diamond sourced from Botswana and two smaller stones from Princess Diana's collection. Getty Images Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, 2011 Catherine's blue sapphire engagement ring originally belonged to Prince William's mother, Princess Diana. Getty Images Princess Diana, 1991 The oval 12ct Ceylon sapphire surrounded by 14 diamonds and is set in white gold. AFP/Getty Images Zara Phillips, 2010 A single solitaire diamond surrounded by pave set diamonds on a split platinum band. AFP/Getty Images Princess Margaret's engagement ring The ring, a large ruby surrounded by smaller diamonds, was designed by her husband Antony Armstrong-Jones to look like a rosebud. AFP/Getty Images

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According to Shilpa, couples in an ‘average’ relationship say “I love you” around the four to five month mark. They go on holiday together for the first time around the seven to 10 month mark and at the same time will have a conversation about the future. After 10 to 15 months together most couples will move in with each other and get engaged after a year and a half. Ben said that a relationship timeline will always be unique to the couple and what feels right for them. He continued: “All I would advise is ensuring you know someone as well as you possibly can before taking your relationship to the next level with gestures such as marriage and moving in together. Arguments in a relationship are inevitable, but what you argue over and how the situation is resolved or dealt with will tell you a lot about the person. “It is important when making life-changing decisions like moving in with a partner or getting married, that you let your emotions lead; go with your gut. If it feels right, it probably is.” Yet, Sarah said that relationship timelines come from peer pressure and baby boomer’s ‘traditional expectations’.

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Sarah told the Standard: “I do believe millennials are breaking the mould (or at least trying to) by getting serious later, working harder for longer and multi-dating until emotional and real romantic connection is apparent. “When it comes to timings for milestone moments in a relationship, the reality is a couple should go through each step in their relationship progression only when it’s right for them. It all depends on timing in life, emotional availability and readiness.” This explains why we don’t often hear about shot-gun engagements as millennials are generally taking their time over picking their partner in life. This could be because they want to make sure they’re ‘the one’ or because dating apps have made it easier than ever to be ‘picky’ about who we choose to date and love.

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While the experts gave differing views on whether or not it is ever ‘too soon’ to get engaged, they all agree you’ll know when you’re ready to get engaged when you know you have found the ever-mystical ‘one’. As Sarah said, “Romantically speaking, you should get engaged only when you are truly, madly, deeply in love and really want to show an outward commitment to the world of how you feel inside.” So, while three weeks may be ‘too soon’ in some people’s books, for Ariana and Pete it may feel just right.

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