Infatuation Rules
Photo: Heyy Kazz
The FSU study shows that, indeed, being mean doesn't automatically qualify people for a personality disorder, even one involving psychopathic qualities. The mean people in your life, unless they are also high in the qualities of disinhibition and boldness, aren't that easily categorized.
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Read More »You almost certainly have someone in your life right now who you consider to be mean. And not just mean, but spiteful and hurtful. When you’re around this person, you have to tread ever so carefully so as not to provoke their wrath. Perhaps this is a person you don’t choose to be with but whose presence is foisted upon you by circumstances, whether work, family, or your community. You can’t even count all the times you’ve left an interaction with this person in tears or just plain frustrated. This person might be a coworker who seems to take joy in watching you squirm. The comments directed toward you range from jokes about your physical appearance to the quality of a presentation you made to the group. Although you've tried a number of ways to break down this wall of hostility, your efforts have proved fruitless. According to Florida State University’s Allison Daurio and Jeanette Taylor (2021), the quality of meanness is one of 3 defining features of psychopathy, the personality trait characterized by lack of remorse, inability to feel empathy, and a certain amount of ruthlessness. Specifically, the so-called “triarchic” model of psychopathy proposes that this trait is made up of a combination of qualities that include impulsivity, boldness, and, lastly, meanness. Typically, you don’t hear psychopathy defined as including meanness, but the FSU authors are working from an approach that views personality along a continuum or set of dimensions. From this perspective, Daurio and Taylor propose, meanness can reflect “common neurobiological and physiological influences” on personality.
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Read More »To measure meanness in its own right, the FSU authors chose a personality test known as the Multidimensional Personality Questionnaire Brief Form (MPQ-BF), developed in prior research as a way to examine the manifestations of those underlying, biologically-based influences. Rather than categorize people, the MPQ-BF takes a dimensional or continuous approach, an effort reflected in potential revisions of the diagnostic framework currently in use, the DSM-5. This dimensional approach can allow clinicians to view their patients from the more naturalistic perspective in which people aren't plugged into boxes depending on which and how many symptoms they show. You can think of this as the difference between calling a person “obese” based on a cutoff for body mass, versus simply using the actual number reflecting the ratio between their height and weight.
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Read More »The majority of research on meanness, unfortunately, combines it with the other dimensions of the triarchic model of psychopathy, so that it isn’t possible to separate either its causes or its impact as a standalone trait. However, one intriguing study linking another triarchic theory, this one Sternberg’s theory of love, suggests possible ways to gain insight into the psychological makeup of the chronically mean. University of Baltimore’s Caitlin Mejia and colleagues (2020) examined the three love components of intimacy, passion, and commitment in relationships to scores based on the triarchic psychopathy model among both a university and an online sample of adults. After correcting for a variety of other influences, including scores on disinhibition and boldness, the UM Baltimore researchers reported additive effects of meanness on all three dimensions of love. In short, without considering any other contributors to relationship problems, meanness had its own unique impact. Given the correlational nature of the study, this finding begs the question about what causes what. However, could it be that, all other factors being equal, the mean either lacked or now lack the ability to love? Their meanness alienates people, but it also may reflect a lifetime of experiences involving rejection. It may seem artificial to separate meanness from the context of other psychopathic traits, but the findings from these two studies suggest that meanness can take the form of a “quiet” cynicism, the sort you encounter in those people whose hostility reflects an extreme sense of isolation. As they push people away, this reinforces their streak of meanness, making them even less likely to feel or express kindness. To sum up, people who show this passive form of meanness can still make you miserable, even if their behavior isn’t outright harmful. Understanding the ways their relationships can both create and maintain their negative worldview can help you neutralize their ability to cause you pain.
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