Infatuation Rules
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How to date a guy without sleeping with him?

How to Show You're Into Him Without Sleeping With Him Touch is powerful. Never underestimate the power of a little 3-second touch or slight lean of your head. ... Bring out the bells and whistles. Give yourself plenty of time to prepare for the date. ... Be enthusiastic. ... Communicate. ... Give him a call.

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By: Cristina Conti, Matchmaker

Men are visual and physical creatures. We all are of course, but men especially have strong senses of sight and touch. How can a woman use this to her advantage without showing him all of her cards?

1. Touch is powerful. Never underestimate the power of a little 3-second touch or slight lean of your head. Use subtle ways to flirt and convey interest while in his presence. Book a Date Coaching Session at our office so that we can elaborate on the best body language tips. 2. Bring out the bells and whistles. Give yourself plenty of time to prepare for the date. When you select what to wear, make sure that you show off your curves in a tasteful way. Men love a woman who dresses and grooms with the male eye in mind. 3. Be enthusiastic. When he asks you out, and he has coordinated the details, show your excitement about him. It can even be through a simple text like, “I’m excited to see you!” Men love feeling wanted, and little messages can go a long way. 4. Communicate. If you have traditional views about the courting process, let him know. He may take your silence as a sign of disinterest. If you like a man to do the initial asking, calling, and texting, tell him. This also goes for getting physical. Make sure that you clearly state your physical boundaries. If it takes awhile for you to feel comfortable to share a first kiss, let him know so he understands your style. Remember, if you have already slept with him, it is never too late to reset boundaries. Tell him that you would like to get to know him more before continuing your physical relationship. Invite him to a daytime activity with a group of friends to press the reset button on your premature intimacy. 5. Give him a call. Before you throw in the towel, call him. If you feel misunderstood in your old-fashioned ways amidst confusing text banter, give him a ring. Calls always have a way of putting the relationship back on track. It goes without saying, if he reaches out to you, wait some time to respond, but make sure that you call him back within 24 hours. Most importantly, enjoy your time together, and take your time. Savor the treasure of getting to know each other. Resist the temptation to rush ahead to a diamond ring. The true test of the relationship is the ability to take each step slowly while expressing yourselves honestly to each other.

Love,

Matchmaker Cristina

© Photo courtesy of hollywoodpasta.blogspot.com

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How do you know if it's not infatuation?

Sternberg's theory of love, infatuation is rooted in passion; you're wildly attracted to the person, you're excited to see them, the sex is great, etc. Meanwhile, romantic love is rooted in both passion and intimacy; you have all the ingredients of infatuation, coupled with friendship, trust, support, etc.

2. Ask probing questions

You need to get beyond the person’s day-to-day, and into the stuff of their dreams. If you’ve been dating for a while—at least a few months—you should feel free to ask where they see their life going, if they want kids, if they envision getting married one day, if they want to travel, what kind of life they want to have. This is how you see if you’re evolving in the same direction, and if you can complement each other along the way. It’s shocking to me how many people don’t ask the deeper questions, and end up wasting time with someone who isn’t in it for the same reasons (i.e. marriage, kids, commitment) that they are.

3. Talk on the phone

When I was dating, a weird sign developed among every person who was seriously invested in building a relationship with me: They’d call me on the phone. Hearing someone’s voice and sharing stories verbally, even when you can’t be physically with the person, creates far more of a bond and shows you’re committed to the work. It takes ten seconds to send a text; it takes set-aside time to make a phone call. Prioritize it, and command it from your partner.

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