Photo: Andrea Imre

How often do first dates lead to second?

A survey of more than 3500 singles conducted by the online dating site RSVP (owned by Fairfax Media, the publisher of Sunday Life) found that 20 per cent of users "always" got a second date, 29 per cent said they got one 75 per cent of the time and 28 per cent said they got one as often as not.

smh.com.au - What gives a first online date every chance of turning into a second?

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The first date is easy: light, easy chatter, relaxed banter over who pays for the coffee, a peck on the cheek in the car park. But then comes the moment of suspense: will this be just another first date that goes nowhere? For many, a second date is elusive, while plenty of others take it for granted that their coffee companions will be lining up for a second shot. A survey of more than 3500 singles conducted by the online dating site RSVP (owned by Fairfax Media, the publisher of Sunday Life) found that 20 per cent of users "always" got a second date, 29 per cent said they got one 75 per cent of the time and 28 per cent said they got one as often as not. That leaves around a third of users stuck in a cycle of first dates, with eight per cent reporting that, sadly, they never get a second chance.

Manners and first impressions are vital in sealing a second date. Credit:Stocksy

After working as an online dating coach for the past four years, I find it easy to pick the clients who are always asked on follow-up dates. Like Janet, 53, from Melbourne: a willowy brunette who's clever, funny and happy to add a vital component for success in this age group – a saucy touch to her profile. One mention of a particular preference was enough: "A firm, warm hand resting casually on my thigh." She is swamped with men eager for as many dates as she'll offer them. The men who do well are equally predictable: tall, good-looking guys in any age group, successful men, confident blokes with good table manners and great banter. It's the men struggling to get those second dates who often come to me – accounting for about a third of my 250 or so past clients. Sometimes, the reason is obvious – men who are short, broke or boring are less likely to get repeat requests. Ditto women who lie on their profiles, or put up very old photos, or are really overweight.

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Do people who date text every day?

You can expect to send and receive a lot more texts early in dating; it's extremely common (if mildly irresponsible!) to text all day with someone you really like, and we've all had one of those electric text-banter relationships we just enjoyed to pieces.

purewow.com - I Ping Him All Day, but He's Silent. How Much Should Couples Text ...

“I’m a big texter. I like to share my thoughts on news, vent about work and just have a little light banter. It helps me get through the day. But my long-term boyfriend is not a texter and literally goes hours without texting me back. He was a lot better early in our relationship, but it’s been a few years, and he’s no longer as communicative. It bothers me a lot, but I can’t tell what a reasonable amount of communication is. He insists what we had was too much. What’s the answer?” This is actually a very common problem in relationships. Why? Probably because our standards for communication are often set in the dating phase when things are new and exciting and you have a lot to learn about each other. For lots of folks, once you settle into a relationship, get into a routine and even move in together, there’s less urgency. When communication in a relationship evolves and our expectations don’t, there’s a dissonance, and to resolve it, we need to check in with ourselves and our partner. But before you get to that, here’s a general guideline for how communication tends to ebb and flow throughout a relationship. Read on, and try to point to where you might land.

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