Infatuation Rules
Infatuation Rules
Photo: Ron Lach
“The grass can seem greener but it ultimately means unsuccessful dates. If you aren't getting to know each person you'll never know if it might work out.” He advises that anything more than two first dates a week is probably too many.
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Read More »Lifestyle Edit email {{ #verifyErrors }} {{ message }} {{ /verifyErrors }} {{ ^verifyErrors }} Something went wrong. Please try again later {{ /verifyErrors }} If you’re looking for love, the obvious strategy is to go on as many dates as you can in the hope of giving yourself the best chance of finding someone you click with. After all, it’s rare to meet a person with whom conversation flows, you have sexual chemistry, who treats you well, shares your values and that you really fancy. However, according to top relationship experts, dating too much could actually be hindering your chances of finding ‘the one’.
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Read More »It’s the very millennial problem of thinking someone better could be just one swipe away. There’s also the risk of simply becoming overwhelmed and all your dates merging into one - no one wants to ask a date how they’re getting on in their new job when they in fact have been in their current role for three years. “Going on too many dates and speaking to loads of people can become confusing and you can come across as aloof when you forget things about people,” dating coach Jo Barnet told The Independent. “And you also run the risk of becoming cynical and dismissive. “If you are going on too many dates you begin to ‘desensitise’ yourself from the fact that you are dating real people with real flaws just like you.” Yes, it becomes all too easy to discard someone and move on to the next without thinking about their feelings - case in point: the rise of ghosting. Dating lots of people can be fun though. “If you are seeing loads of different people all the time, but you are having fun, there is nothing wrong with that,” says Mason Roantree, who will be at the UK Dating Fair in London on National Singles Day (March 11). But there’s a risk that the more you date, the more fed up you’ll become. “You might start to blame yourself and assume you aren’t worthy of meeting someone,” Preece warns. “You’ll get sick and tired of it and eventually give up.” In fact, dating fatigue was cited as the main reason singletons have given up going on dates in a recent study conducted by PassionSmiths. And whilst some people burn out after going on too many dates, others get addicted to the rush of it. “Even if dates do go well, it can become addictive if you get an ego boost,” Preece says. “You’ll crave the attention and keep going on more and more dates for the buzz.”
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Read More »“Only go on dates with people you are confident you will have fun with. Don’t settle just to ‘get yourself out there.’” Julie Houts on modern love - In pictures Show all 10 1 / 10 Julie Houts on modern love - In pictures Julie Houts on modern love - In pictures Julie Houts Julie Houts on modern love - In pictures Julie Houts Julie Houts on modern love - In pictures Julie Houts Julie Houts on modern love - In pictures Julie Houts Julie Houts on modern love - In pictures Julie Houts on modern love - In pictures Julie Houts Julie Houts on modern love - In pictures Julie Houts Julie Houts on modern love - In pictures "When u on a #tinder date and he's pretending he knows a lot about wine." Julie Houts Julie Houts on modern love - In pictures "The one where i practiced balancing olives on my nose while he went outside for a 40 minute conference call. 😌🍸" Julie Houts Julie Houts on modern love - In pictures Julie Houts So going on dates for the sake of going on dates possibly isn’t a good strategy. Mason recommends simply focussing on one person at a time - go on three or four dates with them before deciding whether there’s enough chemistry to carry on. Barnet agrees that this is the right approach to take: “If you are serious about finding a life partner then give each person you have decided to meet the time and space to be able to develop before moving onto the next and the next.” So yes, that means you need to put down your phone and resist swiping through Bumble and Tinder in the hope of lining up your next date straight after going on one. And if it’s all just become too much, consider taking a break from dating for a month. “Spend the time seeing family and friends or catching up on your favourite Netflix boxset,” Preece recommends. “When you get back to your search you’ll have renewed energy and an improved dating pool.” And you never know, true love may find you when you're not even looking.
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