Infatuation Rules
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How many first dates fail?

That leaves around a third of users stuck in a cycle of first dates, with eight per cent reporting that, sadly, they never get a second chance.

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The first date is easy: light, easy chatter, relaxed banter over who pays for the coffee, a peck on the cheek in the car park. But then comes the moment of suspense: will this be just another first date that goes nowhere? For many, a second date is elusive, while plenty of others take it for granted that their coffee companions will be lining up for a second shot. A survey of more than 3500 singles conducted by the online dating site RSVP (owned by Fairfax Media, the publisher of Sunday Life) found that 20 per cent of users "always" got a second date, 29 per cent said they got one 75 per cent of the time and 28 per cent said they got one as often as not. That leaves around a third of users stuck in a cycle of first dates, with eight per cent reporting that, sadly, they never get a second chance.

Manners and first impressions are vital in sealing a second date. Credit:Stocksy

After working as an online dating coach for the past four years, I find it easy to pick the clients who are always asked on follow-up dates. Like Janet, 53, from Melbourne: a willowy brunette who's clever, funny and happy to add a vital component for success in this age group – a saucy touch to her profile. One mention of a particular preference was enough: "A firm, warm hand resting casually on my thigh." She is swamped with men eager for as many dates as she'll offer them. The men who do well are equally predictable: tall, good-looking guys in any age group, successful men, confident blokes with good table manners and great banter. It's the men struggling to get those second dates who often come to me – accounting for about a third of my 250 or so past clients. Sometimes, the reason is obvious – men who are short, broke or boring are less likely to get repeat requests. Ditto women who lie on their profiles, or put up very old photos, or are really overweight.

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What age should I go GREY?

Typically, white people start going gray in their mid-30s, Asians in their late 30s, and Blacks in their mid-40s. Half of all people have a significant amount of gray hair by the time they turn 50.

Salt and pepper, silver, pewter, charcoal. Whatever you call it, gray hair happens to all of us at some point. But why do some people go gray in their 20s while others don’t see the first sign of silver until age 50? If you’re going gray early, what are your options?

What’s 'Premature' Hair goes gray when color-producing cells stop producing pigment, says Jeffrey Benabio, MD, a dermatologist at Kaiser Permanente in San Diego. Naturally occurring hydrogen peroxide can also build up in the hair, bleaching the color. Typically, white people start going gray in their mid-30s, Asians in their late 30s, and Blacks in their mid-40s. Half of all people have a significant amount of gray hair by the time they turn 50. A white person is considered to be prematurely gray if their hair turns gray by age 20; gray before 30 is early for Blacks. Medical Problem? Going gray, by itself, does not mean you have a medical problem, except in rare cases. Contrary to popular belief, stress has not been shown to cause gray hair. Scientists don’t know exactly why some people go gray early, but genes play a large role. Also, a vitamin B-12 deficiency or problems with your pituitary or thyroid gland can cause premature graying that’s reversible if the problem is corrected, Benabio says. Some research has suggested a connection between premature graying and lower bone density later in life. But in 2007, a study of about 1,200 California men and women showed no such link. "Your level of bone density is related to activity level, your weight, your height, your ethnicity. It’s not related to your hair or the things controlling the color of your hair," says researcher Deborah J. Morton, PhD, of the University of California, San Diego.

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