Infatuation Rules
Photo by Katerina Holmes Pexels Logo Photo: Katerina Holmes

How long should you date before being serious?

As a rough rule, two months should be a safe amount of time to broach the subject. But every relationship is different, so if it feels right earlier, go for it. If it doesn't feel right at that stage, there are a few steps you can take to build yourself up for the conversation.

What type of person is more likely to suffer from depression?
What type of person is more likely to suffer from depression?

People high in neuroticism (very emotionally sensitive) and introverts are two personality types more likely to experience negative thoughts...

Read More »
How long do LDR usually last?
How long do LDR usually last?

Forty percent of all long-distance relationships end in breakups, and on average those relationships last just four and a half months. May 28, 2015

Read More »

Having "the talk" means you're ready to make a relationship "official."

Some couples simply slip into a committed relationship, whereas others need a direct conversation about it. According to a relationship expert, it's socially acceptable to broach the subject after two months. But some people will get to the stage earlier — it all depends how much time you're spending together, and how much of a good fit you are. If you're not sure, try introducing them to your friends and see how they react. It's never been crystal clear when exactly you should have "the talk." Some couples simply slide into a committed relationship with ease, while others find it harder to decide whether they really are official or not. Dating apps only make it more confusing, with the possibility your new flame is also dating several other people. Before you have the conversation, you simply don't know. A survey by jewelers F. Hinds found that nearly a quarter of people might consider themselves in a relationship after kissing each other, while 27% would label it a relationship if it was a "friends with benefits" situation. But whatever the assumption, it's still not clear if you're both on the same page. According to relationship psychologist Claire Stott, currently a data analyst at dating app Badoo, after a couple of months, you're perfectly entitled to get some answers. "It's difficult...[but] I would say it's socially acceptable to talk about exclusivity after a couple of months," she told Business Insider. "You might do it before, maybe because the other person is totally on the same page, but I think give it a couple of months." Many people fall into the trap of throwing themselves into a relationship, only for it to fizzle out, she said. So it's best to wait a little while before you announce your partner as your boyfriend or girlfriend. "But it is treacherous, it is difficult, because if you really like that person, you don't want them to be dating other people," said Stott. "Equally you don't want to scare them off... Ultimately, it's when it feels right. And a lot of that has a lot to do with how often you're seeing the person." If you live in a busy city like London or New York, or you have a load of hobbies and responsibilities, dating is just one of the many things you've got going on. Going on dates is definitely a big part of your life, but you might not be able to fit as many in as you'd like. "You might have one date per week, and actually, two months in you've met up with that person eight times," said Stott. "That's not loads is it, to get a gauge of what they're like."

What is a narcissistic boyfriend like?
What is a narcissistic boyfriend like?

Individuals who have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) believe they are superior and unique compared to others. Signs you could be dating an...

Read More »
What does 1111 mean in love?
What does 1111 mean in love?

You Might Be Meeting a Soul Mate or Your Twin Flame Soon Given that 1111 is a spiritual number, it should come as no surprise that it's also the...

Read More »

If you're dating someone three times a week, you might get to the stage where you're happy to be exclusive earlier. And if you really like each other, you'll probably be seeing each other more often anyway. After all, if someone isn't making the time to get to know you properly, they're probably not all that interested. "A lot of it is to do with trust, and how confident you are, and if they're on the same page as you," Stott said. "If you really don't trust them and you think they're definitely dating other people, they haven't deleted dating apps on their phone... it sounds like you're not that committed to each other." One simple way to work out whether you're going towards a committed relationship is to ask yourself if you feel confident when someone asks "does he/she like you?" If you think they do, then you're in the right frame of mind to approach the exclusivity conversation. If you're not sure, then you should probably work out why that is before you start thinking of settling down. You can also introduce them to your friends and see how they react. Your friends will be able to pick up on how they act around you, and whether they flinch when you call them your boyfriend or girlfriend. They'll have more of an objective perspective, because you'll probably be wearing the rose-tinted spectacles of a new romance. "Quite often we are blinded by our feelings, so we don't know if someone's into us," Stott said. "Friends will say things like 'oh we've seen the way he looks at you, he's definitely keen.'" As a rough rule, two months should be a safe amount of time to broach the subject. But every relationship is different, so if it feels right earlier, go for it. If it doesn't feel right at that stage, there are a few steps you can take to build yourself up for the conversation.

"Ultimately it is very subjective," Stott said. "There's no completely right answer."

How do men show they care?
How do men show they care?

When a guy cares about you, he will try to make you feel nice. One of the ways to do so is to offer you compliments and try to bring a smile to...

Read More »
How do you rebuild a struggling relationship?
How do you rebuild a struggling relationship?

It might be painful to face, but leaving these issues unaddressed won't help anyone in the long run. Take full responsibility if you're at fault....

Read More »
What is Isaiah 43 19 about?
What is Isaiah 43 19 about?

Isaiah's narrative quoted God as his prophecy recollected the tired hardness history of his nation: “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the...

Read More »
Why am I losing the spark in a relationship?
Why am I losing the spark in a relationship?

Why do people lose “the spark” anyways? Long distances, contradicting schedules, or growing resentment are all common reasons couples lose their...

Read More »