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How long should I wait before I sleep with him?

In a new survey, the average person said eight dates is the "acceptable" time to wait to have sex. People also said that they don't "always" kiss on the first date, even if it's going well. Millenials also wait 48 hours to ask about a second date, while older people wait three days, on average.

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People are waiting longer than you think. Unsplash/Matthew Hamilton

The INSIDER Summary:

In a new survey, the average person said eight dates is the "acceptable" time to wait to have sex. People also said that they don't "always" kiss on the first date, even if it's going well. Millenials also wait 48 hours to ask about a second date, while older people wait three days, on average. There are a lot of questions when you first begin dating someone, but one of the biggest is when exactly you should take the plunge and sleep together. Although this will vary with every couple, a new study gives some insight into how long most people wait — and it might be longer than you think. The survey, conducted by Groupon, asked 2,000 adults about dating habits and found that, on average, eights dates was deemed the "acceptable" amount of time to wait before having sex with a new partner. This blasts past the old cliché of waiting three dates before getting intimate. This varied across genders, too. The average person who identified as a man was cool with waiting five dates, but the average person who identified as a woman leaned more towards waiting nine dates. But it's not just sex that people wait for. Most participants told researchers that they wait until the second date before having their first kiss. Only 17% of participants said that if it goes well that they "always" kiss on a first date. But the good news, at least if you're a millennial, is that you may be waiting a little less time to see if there will be a second date. Millenials surveyed said that they followed up within 48 hours to set up a second date, while older participants said that they waited three days on average. Obviously, this survey is far from conclusive — everyone moves at their own pace when it comes to physical intimacy. But this is a good reminder than any good relationship can and should move at a speed you're comfortable with, all you have to do is talk about it.

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Why does sleeping with someone feel so good?

'one hypothesis suggests that by promoting feelings of safety and security, shared sleep in healthy relationships may lower levels of cortisol, a stress hormone. Sharing a bed may also reduce cytokines, involved in inflammation, and boost oxytocin, the so-called love hormone that is known to ease anxiety'.

When you are in a relationship and live with your partner it’s widely assumed that you’ll be sharing your bed with them. However, getting good quality sleep is crucial, and if you find it hard to share your bed with someone who is liable to move and snore at any given moment, this could end in a sleep divorce. Our 2022 UK Sleep Survey revealed that over a quarter (27%) of people said they sleep better when their partner isn’t in the bed with them. And 17% would rather sleep with a pet. However, sleeping next to someone you love can often help improve your sleep quality. So, whether you’re a cuddle monster or just want some sleeping space, we have advice and guidance on the pros and cons of sleeping next to a loved one.

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