Infatuation Rules
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How long does it take to tell if you're attracted to someone?

Three dates is a good rule of thumb. This isn't a hard and fast rule, but let's say you spend two to three hours together on each date, with some emailing, texting, or phone time in between. That's a pretty fair amount of time together. If you're not feeling any sense of chemistry or attachment, it's OK to give up.

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You can't call it quits after a decent first date. Nerves can make people act and feel unnatural. If you really enjoyed chatting with him but just aren't sure it felt romantic, go out with him again. You're not going to regret spending some more time with a decent guy, even if sparks don't develop. But if they do, squee! You absolutely can call it quits after a miserable first date (or even before it). If you've been single for a long time and/or heard the old "You're just too picky" advice (blech), you may feel pressured to keep an open mind. An open mind is good, but you know how people who hit it off right away are like, "When you know, you know" and you're like, "Shut up you lucky brat"? Well, you can know something isn't right too. Don't go out with someone you just know it isn't going to happen with. It's not worth your time or his. That also applies to guys you haven't even met yet (like the dude who emailed me via OKCupid but used the dreaded C word to refer to women in his profile. See ya never!) Three dates is a good rule of thumb. This isn't a hard and fast rule, but let's say you spend two to three hours together on each date, with some emailing, texting, or phone time in between. That's a pretty fair amount of time together. If you're not feeling any sense of chemistry or attachment, it's OK to give up. If you want to keep trying, go for it, but make sure to be careful of his feelings too. Eventually, you're gonna need the Urge To Kiss. My friend inspired this one today by making that announcement to me about a lunch date she has. Basically, if she still feels no urge to kiss him, which she hasn't on previous dates, she's going to tell him they should stick to being friends. If he's sweet but you're just not physically into it, let him go find someone who is, and then you can find someone you can barely keep your hands off of. Let me know if you think these are sensible or not, or whether you have anything to add to my list...

What are your rules? Do you need a spark on the first date or it's over? If not, how long will you give it?

Spark it up:

Let's Talk Chemistry: Are Sparks Necessary?

The Fastest Way to Create Sparks with Your Boyfriend

Why guys need to feel a spark

Photo: Thinkstock

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What does a man do when he is attracted to a woman?

He makes eye contact with you. Pay attention to where he's looking whenever you two chat. Does he glance around the room, or does he lock eyes with you intensely? If he holds your gaze no matter what, there's a good chance that he's attracted to you. You might also catch him staring at you from across the room.

This article was co-authored by Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden . Alysha Jeney is a Licensed Relationship Therapist, the Owner of Modern Love Counseling, and the Co-Founder of The Modern Love Box. She specializes in relationship therapy, intimacy building, and existential exploration. Alysha holds a BA in Psychology from The Metropolitan State University of Denver and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy/Counseling from Regis University. She has been featured in publications such as The Washington Post and The Huffington Post. This article has been viewed 1,160,489 times.

Article Summary

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To know if a man is attracted to you, watch to see if he does favors for you. For example, if he brings you coffee or is constantly offering to help you out, he's probably interested. Furthermore, if he makes excuses to be around you, like walking to work together or chatting during lunch, he's most likely doing it because he likes you. If you still aren't sure, keep an eye on his body language – if he's leaning towards you or touching your arm, he's probably attracted to you! When you're around him, see if you can catch him staring at you, and notice if he fixes his hair or clothes. If he does, it may be a good time to act! To learn how to interpret what a guy says to you, scroll down!

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