Infatuation Rules
Photo: George Milton
According to a relationship expert, it's socially acceptable to broach the subject after two months. But some people will get to the stage earlier — it all depends how much time you're spending together, and how much of a good fit you are. If you're not sure, try introducing them to your friends and see how they react.
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Read More »If you're dating someone three times a week, you might get to the stage where you're happy to be exclusive earlier. And if you really like each other, you'll probably be seeing each other more often anyway. After all, if someone isn't making the time to get to know you properly, they're probably not all that interested. "A lot of it is to do with trust, and how confident you are, and if they're on the same page as you," Stott said. "If you really don't trust them and you think they're definitely dating other people, they haven't deleted dating apps on their phone... it sounds like you're not that committed to each other." One simple way to work out whether you're going towards a committed relationship is to ask yourself if you feel confident when someone asks "does he/she like you?" If you think they do, then you're in the right frame of mind to approach the exclusivity conversation. If you're not sure, then you should probably work out why that is before you start thinking of settling down. You can also introduce them to your friends and see how they react. Your friends will be able to pick up on how they act around you, and whether they flinch when you call them your boyfriend or girlfriend. They'll have more of an objective perspective, because you'll probably be wearing the rose-tinted spectacles of a new romance. "Quite often we are blinded by our feelings, so we don't know if someone's into us," Stott said. "Friends will say things like 'oh we've seen the way he looks at you, he's definitely keen.'" As a rough rule, two months should be a safe amount of time to broach the subject. But every relationship is different, so if it feels right earlier, go for it. If it doesn't feel right at that stage, there are a few steps you can take to build yourself up for the conversation.
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