Infatuation Rules
Infatuation Rules
Photo: Tima Miroshnichenko
When you validate someone's point of view or some part of their argument, most people soften their position. Understand that empathy is not the same thing as being nice, it is understanding how others think and feel and it is an essential leadership skill that can help steer you out of gridlock.
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Read More »We hear gridlock discussed a great deal with regard to politics and even traffic patterns, but gridlock can affect any organization, including your business. Gridlock can be defined as: a situation in which something is impeding the normal flow and movement of another thing, that thing could be progress, ideas, workflow, people and more. In business, gridlock often happens because different partners, divisions, departments or individuals have very different ideas about how to move forward. Sometimes gridlock sets in because us humans really like to see things in black-and-white. Our brains are simply hardwired for it. When conflict strikes, it can be hard to see the grays, but the grays are usually more accurate. Add to this the reality that as a conflict develops, we humans tend to want to dig in and hold firm in our positions fearing that if we give even just a little, everything important will be taken from us. But much like in politics, in an ‘us versus them’ fight, someone always has to lose. Now our politicians may not mind making someone the fool, but if our organizations are to run effectively, this course is unwise.
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Read More »Second, empathize with your opposition. Find something, anything you can agree with. When you validate someone’s point of view or some part of their argument, most people soften their position. Understand that empathy is not the same thing as being nice, it is understanding how others think and feel and it is an essential leadership skill that can help steer you out of gridlock. Third, start a dialogue. As a leader you might be tempted to solve the jam by just telling people what you want them to do. Sometimes, this is what is needed, but quite often you have to engage in dialogue to find the shared ground. When you listen and understand, even when you do make an executive decision, your team is much more likely to accept that decision believing they were heard. Fourth, when trying to break out of the gridlock cycle, don’t assume people will tell you what they want you to know. Just look at reports this week regarding hostile working conditions at Amazon. Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos felt blindsided that so many employees and former employees felt the work environment was so punishing. Not every team member will tell you what they want you to know. When you start to see the beginnings of gridlock, you may have to go to your people and ask questions and be aware of nonverbal clues. And lastly, try to uncover as many viewpoints as possible. As leaders, our confidence and decisiveness are important qualities but if we only rely on our own perceptions, we can miss both opportunities and obstacles. Of course, as a leader often times you must be the traffic cop, relieving the gridlock by decisively pointing people in the right direction. But when we tune in it can help us avoid gridlock and better execute leadership initiatives and strategies.
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