Infatuation Rules
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How important is a girls first kiss?

The first kiss is a pivotal moment. It's the primary way to tell if your relationship is romantic or platonic. The quality and timing of that first kiss can be a deal-maker, or breaker. A couple's smooch style can be in perfect harmony from the very beginning.

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Everyone likes their sandwiches a different way--there are people who like more jelly than peanut butter and vice versa. But that PB&J has got to be enjoyed by both people, especially the taste that starts it all--the first kiss of a new relationship. The first kiss is a pivotal moment. It's the primary way to tell if your relationship is romantic or platonic. The quality and timing of that first kiss can be a deal-maker, or breaker. A couple's smooch style can be in perfect harmony from the very beginning. But a bad kiss can be a turn-off. A lot of us have unfortunately been victimized by sub-par kissers, and in some cases, potential relationships have been stopped. My friend Lisa tells a hilarious story about a man who she has since dubbed "The Kisser." She and The Kisser had been on a few dates and at the end of one evening, he walked her to the door of her apartment and leaned in for a smooch. The initial pecks were promising, but when the kiss became deeper, his tongue circled hers at warp speed. Before she could pull away from The Kisser's torpedo, he'd left a deposit of moisture in her mouth. Thoroughly disgusted, Lisa ran into her apartment and took a healthy swig of mouthwash. She saw The Kisser a few times after that, but avoided any activities that could lead to another attack on her tongue. What The Kisser obviously didn't know, is that following the lead of your partner is the only courteous thing to do when kissing. The description of a good kiss includes adjectives such as slow, soft, sensual, inviting and passionate. There are so many factors to balance--how to move your head, what to do with your hands, how to be passionate without too much aggression. While qualities of the perfect kiss are subject to individual opinion, I can only stress the importance of being a good kisser and paying close attention to your partner. Bad kisses mean fewer dates, and they leave a bad taste in your partner's mouth.

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Here are signs that you've stepped over the line of civilized kissing:

- If your tongue is so far immersed in your partner's mouth that you're playing with his uvula, stop, before he's asphyxiated. - If your partner's face or neck requires a wipe down after a kissing session, keep in mind that it's a kiss, not a bath. - If your partner offers, NEVER refuse a breath mint. Especially if you had a garlic and curry salad for lunch. - Don't kiss with a dry mouth. He might think he's kissing your cat. - If, after the kiss, your partner requires several stitches on his lips from friction with your chapped and crusty lips, invest in Chapstick, Carmex or even Crisco. In extreme cases, try a pumice stone--or a sandblaster. Do whatever it takes to avoid razor lips. - You're not conducting a dental exam ... there is no need to let your tongue roam freely over every area of your partner's mouth. - If you're over 18 and leave dark bruise marks on your victim/partner, ease up on the suction, Dracula. Hickeys are for high school. - If you smoke, don't assume that breath mints will mask the cigarette taste. It's the worst kind of second-hand smoke. - If your handprint remains on your partner's face or neck for 30 minutes after you've finished kissing, lighten up, and keep in mind the phrase "good touch, bad touch." - The first kiss is not the best time to experiment with lip biting or growling.

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THEGINASPOT@TRIBUNE.COM

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