Infatuation Rules
Infatuation Rules
Photo: lucas souza
Research finds that feeling ignored can affect people's sensory perceptions, such as feeling that surroundings seem quieter. Being ignored creates feelings of self-doubt, feeling a lack of control, and feeling not worthy of attention.
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Read More »Where there are people, there is conflict. Interpersonal conflict could manifest in the “hot” form, such as through heated arguments, or the “cold” form, such as ignoring someone. While both are unpleasant experiences, people’s everyday intuition, theory, and empirical evidence (Williams, 2009) suggest that being ignored hurts more than being argued with.
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Read More »Sometimes people attribute being ignored to a belief that they are not significant enough to warrant any attention, such as a considerable disparity in social status between themselves and their ignorer (Williams, 2009). This makes intuitive sense since conventional wisdom suggests that arguing with someone is an effortful task, at least more of one than ignoring a person. It follows, then, that individuals who are ignored could infer that the other person would rather forgo their friendship than expend the effort to reconcile any differences or clear any misunderstandings. This would understandably be a bitter pill to swallow. Considering some possible reasons why the cold shoulder could be more destructive than arguments begs the question: Are there any practical implications? It is essential to be mindful of our goals when choosing a particular strategy in different contexts. For instance, when a Youtuber receives hate comments, whether the “haters” should be ignored or argued with depends on what goal the Youtuber wants to accomplish. If the goal is to clear up misunderstandings, then arguing would be the suitable option. If the goal is to imply to the haters that they are not high enough on the pecking order to warrant any attention, then it might be wise to opt for “silent retribution." The same logic could be applied to geopolitical conflicts in which one country has offended or wronged another. If the goal is to clear up misunderstandings and repair bilateral relationships, open communication would be appropriate. However, if the goal is to punish a country and encourage its leaders to self-reflect on their various wrongdoings, perhaps terminating communication entirely would be an apt tactic.
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